


Proper Conviction

by kolbietheninja



Category: Ao no Exorcist | Blue Exorcist
Genre: Abandonment, Alternate Ages, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe - Normal High School, Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Awkwardness, Boys Being Boys, Bromance to Romance, But I regret nothing, But No Actual Sex Scenes, Cheesy, Child Neglect, Complete, Emotional Baggage, Fluff, Gay, Humor, Hurt/Comfort, Immaturity, Implied Bon/Izumo, Implied Sexual Content, Like Seriously Casanova Shima Over Here, M/M, Male Slash, Oh wait, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, POV First Person, Past Character Death, Romance, Sexual Humor, Teen Romance, They Make Me Blush Like A Teenage Girl, This Is STUPID, and probably dumb, bros for life, it'll be okay, this is so old
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-05
Updated: 2015-01-05
Packaged: 2018-03-05 13:04:20
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 11
Words: 38,615
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3121187
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kolbietheninja/pseuds/kolbietheninja
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>In which Shima's a dweeb, Rin is fabulous, and Bon and Konekomaru are so done with both of them. There is much angst and frustrated tears to be had.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. You and Me

**Author's Note:**

> I wrote this back in like 2012?? Regardless, I haven't read this in years, so I don't remember much. But I am fond of it, and when I deleted this on FF.net, a lot of people were upset. I'm keeping this up here just for you guys. Maybe one day, I'll rewrite. Until then, enjoy this as it is.

I watch as he talks animatedly with our classmates, wild hand motions coming dangerously close to the faces of the onlookers. They are all rapt with attention, drawn in by his natural charisma. The subject was probably something trivial—Okumura-kun was known for that, after all—and yet, he has, once again, turned it into something deep and meaningful. He's made a habit of doing that. What am I talking about, you may ask? Well, he has a way of taking everything you thought you knew about something and twisting and turning it into something else entirely until it's hardly recognizable. How? His views on things are completely different from your average person, you see. He's got an altered perspective.

You and me, our outlooks are probably pretty similar. Like, let's say you find a pebble on the street. You might look at that pebble and think, "Oh, there's a pebble." You might even kick it, for good measure. No seconds wasted, no thoughts pondered upon. That's the end of it.

But, you see, Okumura-kun, yeah, he's not like that. He sees a pebble on the side of the road, I can guarantee you he'll pick it up. He'll probably examine it, too, while he slowly turns it over in his hand. And he'll gently run his fingers over the entire surface, all the while wondering things that fly so far over our heads that we could never even hope to catch a glimpse of them, if we were to ever make an actual effort. After finally becoming satisfied with his own inner musings, he'll carefully set the pebble in it's previous position and continue on his merry way. Sure, it takes more time than it should, and maybe it will all be for naught because no one will know what went on there, anyway. _But it won't have been wasted. None of it._

Why does he do it? I've asked him that myself, just once, and here's the answer he gave me: "I know what it's like to be alone, to become something so insignificant to others that they won't even spare so much as a glance in my direction, to not be important enough to have one's full attention but not so invisible that I can fade into the background." He tells me all this with a such a crestfallen, pitiful attempt at a smile. "I don't want to ever make anyone else go through that... Everything has it's worth, and if all it takes is just a moment to appreciate that worth, I'd do it whenever possible. I mean," Intense blue eyes meet mine and chill me to the very core of my being. "It's the least I could do."

Thinking back on it now, I couldn't understand exactly what he'd meant by it all. Sure, he's a rowdy guy that doesn't really listen to others and does what he wants and deems necessary. And yeah, he can and will get into fights over stupid things. But well, no one's perfect, as they say. None of that should have been such a problem to someone that they'd shun him to such a degree, I think. I sigh as I finally manage to tear my gaze away from the object of my musing and face the world outside. Sitting near the window had it perks, after all. It'd be a shame not to use it to my full advantage.

Anyway, back to the topic. I still don't understand what exactly it was that he went through. …..Or what it was that he did to provoke such harsh treatment. Why haven't I just asked him already? It's an awkward thing to ask out of the blue, you know. Who goes up to someone and asks 'Hey, remember that one time you told me that one thing about your past? Think you could explain it to me?' Yeah, that wouldn't be weird at all. You think I should stop being such a wuss, geez, and should just confront him about it? Well, screw you. It's been months since we had that talk. He's gonna think I'm some sort of creeper that remembers every little thing he says, or-or something. …...What? What do you mean I'm already classified as a creeper? I do not stare at him all the time, damn it! It's just... he interests me.

That's all.

Suddenly, there's a hand on my shoulder. "-ma! Shima!"

Huh? What is it, now? I lazily turn my eyes to owner of the voice. "Yeah? What is it?" I ask, slightly annoyed to be shaken from my thoughts so abruptly. It turns out to be some guy—I've forgotten his name, I only make an effort to remember the names of the girls in my classes—and he's pointing a slim finger towards the front of the room. I follow it only to be met with the angry glare of our teacher.

"Shima, _dear_ , is there something more interesting than my lesson outside the window? I'm assuming this _must_ be the case. There's no other justifiable reason I can think of as to why you _wouldn't_ be paying attention to the lecture," she inquires in such a sugary sweet tone of voice that I almost miss the venomous undertone. She's got her hands on her hips and is glaring daggers at me. _I actually think that watching the grass grow would make for a much more interesting activity..._ Heh. I chuckle—internally, of course—at my sarcasm. The corners of my lips quirk up, however, and this does nothing to help my situation. The gray-haired woman notices and is clearly not amused.

"Actually, _Michiko-nee-chan_ ," I drawl, drawing it out deliberately, mischievously. "I was trying to distinguish the faces of the young men below the window here, so that I could inform you of who exactly to punish for beating up a kid and stealing his money." For a moment, she drops the scowl that normally adorns her wrinkle-ridden face and looks at me in surprise. However, it was only for a moment, and so she replaces it once more and stomps towards me. "Do you honestly expect me to believe you? Making up excuses to justify your behavior when you were clearly doing no such thing! My word!"

She continues to ramble and rant the entire three seconds it takes to reach my location. Has she even stopped to take a breath? I gaze upon her in amusement, waiting for the right moment to cut her off. I glance back towards the scene I'd previously described. The children were all still present, still beating a kid senseless. "Er.. Sorry to interrupt, but I wasn't lying. Take a look for yourself." I jerk my thumb rather disinterestedly in the general direction of the violence.

The normally strict and composed teacher we loved so dearly—Pttf, yeah right—let out an uncharacteristic screech and immediately opened the window to tell them off. Noticing that they'd been caught, they ran away. Waka-sensei looked absolutely distraught. Well, what did she expect them to do? Play the nice, little, innocent students they _were not_ and turn themselves into the principal? I scoffed. Good luck with that.

Unfortunately, she heard me. She grabbed me roughly by the arm and pulled me out of my seat. "What did I do, _now_?" I demand. Sheesh, it's not like _I_ was the one down there fighting.

She growled threateningly and narrowed her gray-blue eyes at me. "Why did you not report this to me the moment you witnessed it?" She hisses crossly.

Hmm. That's actually a good question. Why didn't I..? Ah. I was too focused on my own thoughts for the happenings below the window to actually register with me. I didn't even really realize what was going on until the teacher called me out. Question is, will she believe that...? Probably not. "I told you already." I huff out, annoyed. "I was _trying_ to see who the bullies were, so that when I told you and you chased them off—(Que look of irritation at teacher)—I would be able to successfully identify them, and they could be properly punished." It _seems_ like a plausible excuse.

Michiko-nee-chan has a contemplative look on her face, along with a crinkled brow. To believe or not to believe... Apparently, she's reached a decision. "Alright then, I believe you." My nerves visibly diminish, and I let out a sigh of relief. "Now, what were the names of those children, again?"

Oh. Shit. "...what?" I ask. Rather lamely, I might add. The shit-eating grin on her face tells me that she thinks she's got me now.

Hell, I think she does, too.

* * *

"Detention? Really?" What the fuck? "It was _her_ fault they escaped. I don't see why _I'm_ the one in the wrong here!" It's the end of the day, and I'm still complaining about this unjust treatment. I'm walking home from school alongside Bon and Konekomaru. Bon is nodding his head along to one of his beloved heavy metal songs—Get some taste, dude—while Konekomaru seems rather content with just being near us. They don't seem too worried about my predicament. " _Guys_!"

Bon rolls his eyes and shakes his head, turning up the volume. What the hell? Thanks for the concern, best buddy! I'll remember this when you ask me for advice on how to score Eyebrows! I switch my gaze to Konekomaru. He realizes he's being watched, looks up, and notices the expectant look I'm giving him. He averts his eyes and laughs nervously. You're not getting out of it that easily!

My eyes never leave his form, and he manages to ignore me for all of three seconds. "Okay!" He gives in easily, as always. He face-palms at my triumphant grin. "Technically...youwereinthewrong!" The little guy squeaks it out so fast that I can barely decipher it. But I mean, come on. We've known each other since we were in diapers, and I'd like to think I can understand his mumblings by now, even if only a tiny bit. But the answer he gives is not the one I'm looking for—he knows this—so I can't really be blamed for the death rays burning holes into his skull.

He squeaks—though, it's not from surprise, he knows me as well as I know him and can predict my reaction to such a statement—and tries to redeem himself. "W-well, you really _weren't_ paying attention, and you really _should_ have told Wakahisa-sensei about the fight..."

I'm pissed. What he says makes sense, but I'm still pissed. I shake it off and decide to let off steam by annoying these guys. It's always been proven to cheer me up, after all. I hasten my pace, turn around, and walk backwards. "Yeah, but think about all the _chicks_ I could be hanging out with instead of being kept in that prison!" They both groan in exasperation. Guess Bon actually _was_ listening.

I begin to laugh maniacally. They're confused by the sudden hysteria, but soon after, they join in on the laughing fit. By the time I reach home—we parted ways at the crosswalk—my sides are killing me, and I'm still visited by the occasional giggle.

Heh. I don't even know what was so funny in the first place...

* * *

I think I have way too much free time.

After returning home, I managed to complete all of my school work—Bon and Konekomaru have rubbed off on me, I guess. I can't understand why my coolness hasn't rubbed off on them, though—and now I have nothing to do. I'd have stayed over at one of the guys' houses, but Bon would just call me a distraction and Konekomaru's parents won't have anyone over on a school night.

My family really couldn't care less about things like that. I mean, yeah, when I get into trouble, I get the whole 'Such behavior shames the family' and 'Troublemakers get nowhere in life' speech along with being grounded for a month. But it's only an act they put on for the principal and any others present. It's just a facade to fool others into thinking that they are actually doing their jobs as parents and respectable adults. Ha. What a joke.

On stage, we are a well-maintained family. We are considerate of one another, and we take care of each other. We are the prime example of what a family should be. Behind the curtains, however, we're strangers. I could not tell you what my parents do while I'm not with them. They most likely have jobs because I, for one, am not bringing a check home at the end of every week. I have five older brothers, but I am the youngest of them all at the tender age of seventeen. Again, I know next to nothing about them. I _am_ the most perverted of one of us, though.

This lack of closeness doesn't really bother me. I've always felt as if Bon's parents are my own and that Bon is my real brother. Konekomaru is like the younger brother I never had—despite his being older than me. Would I like things to be different? I can't really answer that honestly. I mean, my life has never been anything other than what it is now—I wouldn't _know_ what it would be like. Of course, I wanted my parents to pay attention to me as a little kid. Everyone seeks praise and warmth from their parents at some point. I did, too. It's why there's such a noticeable difference between my grades from elementary school and my grades from middle school. I tried to be the best at everything in order to gain attention. It never worked. I was just a hindrance to them—something to be fed and clothed but not something to be loved or cared for.

I realized this a few weeks into my first year of middle school.

**-FLASHBACK-**

_'What's the point in trying? They don't care either way.'_

_'Why should I follow the rules?_ My _parents let me do whatever I want.'_

_'Why should I even bother going to school? Mom and Dad are never home long enough to notice.'_

These thoughts manifested within me and spread like a poison. I slept in class. I threw away my text books. I even began smoking behind the school during breaks. At last, I had received attention from my guardians. But it wasn't the kind I'd hoped for. Sure, they berated me in the office like good parents should, and yeah, they did confiscate my pack of cigarettes and my customized lighter. But at home, they went back to ignoring my existence. They didn't give me a 'talking to'. They didn't explain to me that they were only punishing me because they loved me. They didn't even give me a disapproving glare. No, things returned to normal.

_You are you, and I am me._

I eventually just stopped going to school altogether. It was at this point that my best friends decided to step in. Now, don't go thinking, 'Why did they wait until it got _this_ bad?' and 'What kind of friend would do that?' Technically speaking, we weren't exactly the 'best friends/brothers' that we are now. We'd known each other since we were born—our moms were friends and would often have us play together—but we weren't all that close. We'd drifted apart in the later years of elementary school. I couldn't tell you why—it probably had something to do with the fact that I was becoming increasingly depressed at the time—but it happened, nonetheless.

Anyway, they'd noticed I was having problems beforehand—it was actually pretty obvious, I guess—but they figured that I'd work it out myself. It was what I normally did. So when I started skipping school, they weren't too alarmed. I mean, I'd skipped before, after all. It wasn't an uncommon occurrence. They became a little worried when one or two days became five or six. When days became weeks, however, they knew that it was not something I could deal with on my own.

The two of them marched to my house—they had no qualms with letting themselves in—and barged into my room, slamming my door so hard it left a dent in the wall. Then, they demanded I explain to them 'what the hell is up with' me 'lately?' It took three long, agonizing hours, but they finally managed to get the truth out of me. Know what they did after that? They both just stared at me for a while. After what felt like forever but was probably only, like, three seconds, they both uttered the same thing. "You really are an idiot." I gaped at them, the disbelief clear on my face.

I found my voice once again and asked, "What?"

Konekomaru shook his head softly while Bon rolled his eyes. "Do you seriously think that no one cares about you?" Bon was the first to speak. I said nothing. "I'll say this right now, only once, so you'd better listen." I nodded meekly. "I don't waste my time on worthless causes." He looked at me expectantly, like his words were supposed to have some magical effect that would suddenly make me happy and smiling and just not depressed anymore. They didn't. He'd actually confused me even more.

Konekomaru, noticing my confusion, elaborated, "What Bon's trying to say is that _we_ care about you, Shima." I gave no response. He continued. "We're...we're friends, aren't we?" And the uncertainty in his voice stirred me from my apathetic state.

"...yeah," I answered, albeit hesitantly. "Yeah, we are friends." I said again, this time with more confidence.

He smiled, and I could feel the waves of glee emitting from his small form. "Friends care about each other."

It wasn't a question, but I answered, anyway. "Yeah." I returned his smile with one of my own of equal intensity.

Suddenly, I felt a tug on my arm. I turned to see a hand that was not my own and followed it back up to its owner. Bon was smiling—it _was_ Bon, though, so it was hard to tell. "Let's go back to my house. You've got a lot of make-up work to do." My smile morphed into one of horror, and it was then that I realized _his_ was one of a tyrant planning torture for his next victim.

**-END FLASHBACK-**

Those were the days the three of us became best friends.

* * *

I like women.

No, I _love_ women.

They are definitely high up on the list of the best things life has to offer. (The only items above women would be Gari Gari Kun Popsicles and Ramune(1)—treats from childhood one can never get enough of.)

 _And women love me_ , I can't help but think as I watch a couple of girls checking me out from the corner of my eye. I chuckle silently to myself. As I'm sure you can tell, I'm very much accustomed to such an occurrence. I'm a very attractive guy, what can I say?

If I felt like it, I'd pick one of them up-It'd only be too easy. I'd swagger on over there-because with a body like this, it'd be a waste _not_ to use it-and I'd flash them one of my charming smiles. They'd giggle cutely and subtly pose to accentuate their best features, whether it be their face, breasts, legs, or what have you, and they'd flutter heavily coated eyelashes flirtatiously. I'd casually start up a conversation whilst catching the eye of the girl of my choice, let loose a carefully placed, witty innuendo, and inconspicuously motion towards the door. She'd nod almost imperceptibly, excuse us from her friends, and lead me out to a secluded area.

I'm sure you can guess what would happen next.

However, I _don't_ feel like it, so I shall refrain from doing so and continue to ignore the ogling.

Why? I don't know, honestly. I won't have a chance to do so after school, for I have to attend detention (which I still feel is an unjust punishment.)

I'm just not in the mood. I sigh and drop my head to the arms on my desk. Turning my head to the left, I witness Bon and Konekomaru having a discussion about something or another-I couldn't care less, really-and quickly become amused at how passionately they feel about said something or another. Rolling my eyes but smiling at their antics, I look to the other students.

As my eyes pass over each one of them ( _don't know, don't know, she's hot, don't know, who the hell dyes their hair pink, don't know, nice rack, don't know..._ ), I notice Izumo and Paku giggling about something (it's actually just Paku giggling at or because of Izumo's flushed cheeks whilst Izumo pouts, I assume), and my gaze lands on _him_.

 _He_ is laughing enthusiastically and is (yet again) surrounded by a group of people. It's always been like that, I suppose. _Well,_ I muse, thinking back to that conversation from so long ago, _maybe not..._

The bell rings, and break is over.

* * *

Why is the justice system in educational institutes so easily overlooked?

I mean, I did _not_ do anything that should constitute this kind of punishment!

Where in the hell does she get off placing me in a room with _these people_?

I shudder involuntarily as I gaze upon the other inhabitants of said room (read: torture chamber). Guy with Mohawk is definitely giving me dirty looks, and Girl with Piercings is doing the same, only instead of the 'I Want To Murder You With The Jackknife Hidden In My Mohawk' feel he gives off, hers is more of an 'I'm Going To Rape You In The Back Closet As Soon As The Teacher Leaves' kind of feeling.

Needless to say, I am scared shitless.

 _More people will show up,_ I think to myself as I sit as far away from both of them as physically possible, _Surely this can't be all of us..._

Teacher Whose Name I Do Not Know gets settled in the chair behind the desk in the front of the room. "This should be all of you,"( _Damn_ ) He begins as he glances at each of us. "You should all know by now what you should or shouldn't do in detention, but nevertheless, I am required to repeat the rules to you."

He rolls his eyes and adjusts his glasses with his middle finger(8). "You are not allowed to speak to one another, nor are you allowed to speak aloud to yourselves. You may not leave the room or even your seats without permission. During this time, you are to be productive, which means you may not fall asleep or stare into space-Some form of school work must be out for you to complete. Follow these rules, and we'll have a pleasant evening. If you choose to disobey, however, you will find yourself here once again, and I am _positive_ it would be an undesirable outcome for all parties involved. " His gaze lingers on Guy with Mohawk a second longer, and I do not doubt that Guy with Mohawk is regularly in detention.

"You may begin."

Teacher Whose Name I Do Not Know had momentarily distracted me, but I am now aware of the fact that it will be just the four of us in this tiny room for at least two hours, and I am very worried for my safety. I mean, yeah, Teacher Man (It's much shorter and easier to remember) would not allow them to cause me any harm (I hope), but what will happen if ("when", actually, because my luck is just that awesome) he decides to leave the room? And even if he (miraculously) stays the entire time, what will happen to me once we (minus Teacher Man) step out together? They both look stronger than me-not that it's particularly hard to do, I mean, I have the body of a typical guy that does not work out (much) or participate in any kind of strenuous sport-and I would be very easy prey.

 _This is not good. This is not good. This is not good. This is not-_ Just as I start to freak out (read: hyperventilate, piss my pants, scream like a girl, etc.), I hear the click of the lock and the opening of the door. I look towards the noise and find none other than Rin Okumura, the man who has just (unknowingly) saved my life/mental well-being. (You'd be fucked up, too, if you were raped by a gorilla woman!)

He looks surprised-although, I know it's not because of me. He was there when Waka-sensei gave me the detention. It might be because of the looks I'm _still_ receiving from Guy with Mohawk and Girl with Piercings, or maybe it's because I'm beaming at him? I don't know, and I don't care. Now that he's here, I know that I'll be safe. I'm sure that even _these delinquents_ have heard of 'Demon' Okumura, the kid that can easily kick the asses of guys much larger than himself.

After the shock from... er... something wears off, he turns to the teacher and hastily explains his late arrival. "Sorry I'm late, sensei. I was finishing a test." He hands the pass from his other teacher to Teacher Man. Teacher Man nods and instructs Mr. Okumura to find a seat. For some reason, he chose the empty seat to my right. (The only other seats available were close to the other two kids, so I guess it's not really a mystery, after all.)

As Teacher Man goes over the same rules and regulations again, I can't help but notice that our chairs are a little closer together than they should be-Normally, the distance wouldn't allow for our legs to touch. I glance up at Okumura, but he doesn't acknowledge me. He just focuses on the paper before him.

I cock my head to the side in curiosity before I just shrug and return to my own work.

The small smile that lights up his face alludes me.

* * *

After forty-five minutes of nothing but silence and doodling on my paper and staring at the clock incessantly, Teacher Man finally decides to let us go. He stalks out of the door before we even have a chance to put our things away (just like I knew he would), and I'm thanking the Heavens for sending me Rin Okumura.

I sidle closer to him as I eye the other two warily. Guy with Mohawk hasn't moved an inch, and I think Girl with Piercings is staring at my crotch. _Um, hello, eyes are up here!_ I move further forward in order to hide the goods. I mean, many ladies (and the occasional men) often undress me with their eyes, _but this is_ _mental rape_. Both of them are mind-fucking me right now, just in different ways.

"Hey, are you okay?" His voice startles me, and I may have jumped just a tiny bit. (read: a lot)

"What?" I ask casually, like I wasn't just freaking out.

He raises his eyebrow, which basically means: "I don't buy that crap. You're obviously a nervous wreck, you idiot." (Maybe not the 'idiot' part so much, but it ends the sentence nicely, don't you think?)

I clear my throat and giggle (nervously). "I'm fine."

"Right," And I can tell he doesn't believe me by his tone of voice and because his eyebrow is still raised. "Anyway, let's get out of here. I don't want to be in here any longer than I have to." He throws his bag onto his shoulder and looks to me.

I look right back until I realize he's waiting for me to grab my stuff, too. I do so, and we walk out of the room together.

I can still feel their eyes on me, but it's not so bad because Rin Okumura begins to chatter on about stuff beside me.

And I think I like the sound of his voice.

* * *

"So..." He starts, drawing out the word. "What was up with you back there?" He glances at me before returning his gaze forward.

I shudder once more because just thinking about it gives me chills. "Ugh! That was horrible, dude. Could you seriously not feel both of them glaring at me?" I ask him because maybe, just maybe I'm the only one that can feel such things. It would be awesome to have a sixth sense.

"The other two kids in there?" He inquires, and I nod. "I guess. So that's what had you spazzing out?" _Damn._

I stop walking and stare at him in incredulity. "Are you kidding me? I felt like I was being murdered in Guy with Mohawk's mind and raped in Girl with Piercing's!" He stops, too, and is listening intently to me. "I thought it was seriously going to happen until you showed up!" I throw my hands up in emphasis and start moving again.

He catches up with me and asks, "What do you mean?" _Like it's not obvious!_

"Well, you wouldn't have let them hurt me, right?" I continue before he can answer. "Of course you wouldn't have! Why do you think I looked so relieved when you walked in?"

"Oh." He mutters in comprehension, I assume. "I'm glad you felt safe with me." He faces me fully and grins brightly, so brightly that I have to look away. _It's not because my cheeks suddenly felt hot! It's_ not _._

"Who wouldn't?" I say, almost defensively. I puff my cheeks out childishly.

He laughs genuinely, and it's a really happy one. I can't help but smile along with him.

I wonder if maybe the reason people flock to him is because he makes them feel like this.

* * *

We finally reach my house, and I'm a little sad to have to leave _this_ to go back to _that_. (I've already established the fact that my home is not a happy one, right? Right.) We both pause at the gate, unsure of what to say to end this little... _thing_.

"Well, it's been fun," I say the first thing that comes to mind, and it's awkward and lame. _Real nice, Shima._ It's one of the lines I use to get rid of the chicks that linger after the show's over, and it's maybe not the most appropriate line to use now... on another guy. Yeah. "I mean, it was cool talking with you."

"Yeah," He says kind of wistfully, which I find odd. But I'm also acting weirdly, so I have no right to be accusing others of such things. "...Do you want to hang out again some time?"

It almost sounds like he's asking me out on a date, but we're both dudes. It's just two Bros Bro-in' it up. "Yeah, sure."

"Um," He swallows and starts again. "I'll need your number."

I immediately reach for the iPhone in my back pants' pocket and hand it to him. "Right."

He hands me a Blackberry, and I can't help but be amazed at the fact that it's the exact shade of his hair. _Wow_. Anyway, I add myself to his contacts and return the phone. He does the same.

"So, I guess I'll see you later," He waves his hand in a quick motion and begins walking towards the direction we came from.

"Hey!" He stops and looks to me. "Why are you going that way? Isn't your house in the other direction?" It would only make sense. I mean, why else would have walked this far with me? Not even Bon and Konekomaru come this way.

He smiles at me and simply says, "No" before continuing to travel on the same route.

...What?

* * *


	2. And My Kingdom

High school is my kingdom.

All of the students and faculty recognize that I am of a higher class, and they all want a piece of the King.

(Well, that's not entirely true. When it comes to being attracted to me, there _are_ a few that are able to resist. That is, Bon, Konekomaru, Izumo, Paku, and the Okumura twins are not in any particular rush to get into my pants.)

Pink, soft, luscious hair styled _just right_ and a sexy, slightly tan, muscular-but-not-too-muscular body—It's really no mystery as to why they want to jump into bed with me. And my eyes... These honey-colored orbs have ensnared and entranced a multitude of women.

What use are words when a single glance can say so much more?

Anyway, back to my point: Renzo Shima is the well-known playboy that will flirt with anyone but will only sex up the cleverest of girls. Bimbos, cheap hoes, and the girls of his Bros will never experience that particular magnificent, awe-inspiring 'show'.

What fun is it to sleep with someone with a dull personality and brain cells in the negatives? The physique of a girl doesn't matter all that much if she's not interesting to begin with. I can't fill in those awkward silences before and after sex by myself.

These facts add up to one conclusion: I am King.

Now, if I'm the head honcho, what would the others be classified as?

Well, for starters, the 'Resisters' (read: my friends that do not want to fuck me) would be the next best thing: the Princes and Princesses. (Normally, this would mean they'd be related to me, but in this case, the positions are just being used to establish their roles in the kingdom.)

Izumo is the foul tempered, tsundere older sister that does not get along well with others, while Paku is more like the younger, kind-hearted sister that puts up with the older's demands. Bon is the strong, knowledgeable older brother that takes care of his younger sibling, Konekomaru, whom is rather intelligent himself but lacks the will or confidence to be assertive or authoritative.

Next comes the Okumura twins: They are Knights. Both have a certain loyalty that is pretty rare in even adults. They have the ability to protect, and they will do so if the situation calls for it. No one fits the role better.

Below that, you've got the Commoners, which would be the rest of the student body.

There can be no changing of someone's class; however, any girl that can entertain me both sexually and socially (and has a great body) has the potential to become my Mistress. (Apparently, you don't have to be married to have one. It just applies to a generally stable and semi-permanent relationship in which the two are not living together or seeing each other openly.) But they'd have to be pretty interesting to gain my attention for more than the few minutes it takes to become physically acquainted.

Regardless, these are the different classifications that can be distinguished with little to no observation. The higher the class of a person, the more they 'stick out', so to speak.

The members of royalty all have differing personalities and great presence—They alone could fill an entire room without doing anything other than being themselves. The same goes for me. We are the types that could be spotted in crowds of hundreds of people because our auras cannot be diminished by others. They emerge from within us and blend in perfect harmony—Becoming nothing but a mix of each of us, of parts of our souls.

The Commoners are nameless, faceless, I've-forgotten-you-already persons that fill the empty spaces left to them by us.

I socialize with people of all statuses. In many ways, I am the King, but I could also be considered the Joker. The Joker with his face hidden behind a colorful mask and his ambition to please others and cause laughter—You could say I exhibit these same traits.

I rise above them as their ruler. I hide myself within them as their comrade.

Two sides of the same coin.

* * *

It's Saturday, and I'm lying on my back on my bed with nothing to do, once again.

I drape my arm over my face and allow my left leg to hang limply over the side of the mattress. I'm wearing nothing but a black wife beater and my blue boxers with little ducks on them. I bring my other hand to my stomach where my shirt reveals a bit of skin and scratch, all the while glancing around the room.

My room is like any other typical high school boy's. Clothes are thrown over chairs and in piles on the floor, soda cans litter various places, half of a (hopefully empty) pizza box sticks out from underneath the bed—It's nothing special, really.

If it were actually clean, one would find a shiny hardwood floor almost completely covered by a dark blue carpet in the center of the room. The walls are an even darker blue, and black stripes create a vertical pattern across it. The bed has one giant body pillow and sheets and comforters in various shades of blue. A silver computer desk is located to the left with a laptop that is covered in bright yellow ducks(1)—Awesome stickers I bought a while back.

Two doors are to the right of the desk, with one being a closet and the other leading to a bathroom. The only other door is opposite those two, and it leads out into the hall.

I start to shift my body so that both of my legs are dangling on one side—And now, my room is suddenly upside down. Wait—No, I fell and am now lying awkwardly on my neck on the very cold floor. Great.

I hear a 'thwump' and look to see that my phone has slipped out of my pocket and landed on the carpet. This reminds me of my conversation with my so-called friends almost thirty minutes ago and the irritation it had caused.

**-FLASHBACK-**

I'd called to schedule some sort of activity with the guys to relieve my boredom. However, that was, as I soon learned, unnecessary because they'd both already had plans to meet up with these other guys and girls to attend a group date.

I was like, 'Are you kidding me?' But no, they were serious.

I then asked them, 'Why the hell is this the first time I'm hearing of it?"

To which Konekomaru responded with, "Well, Shima, you see... There's no way we'll have a chance with any of the girls if you come with us!" He did that whole 'I'mma-speak-fast-so-it-will-be-more-pleasant-to-h ear' thing that he always does, even though speaking faster only pisses me off even more.

"What?"

Bon answered this time. "Any time we go on a group date together, the girls are only interested in flirting with you."

"...Still, you shouldn't hide it from me! If you would have just explained it to me, I wouldn't have bugged you about it!"

"We didn't think you would be so understanding," Konekomaru admits. "We thought you'd come along just to annoy us."

I smiled a bit. That's exactly what I'd have done. But the fact that they'd hidden it from me had set me off. "So? You just assumed and went behind my back?"

"We're sorry, Shima," Konekomaru apologized sincerely. Bon grunted in agreement.

I rolled my eyes at their ability to give in so quickly. Really, why couldn't we have a prolonged, raging fight like normal people? "Sure, sure, I forgive you." I couldn't actually see him, but I knew that Konekomaru was smiling genuinely. "Hey, Bon!" I called out.

"Hm?" He grunts in acknowledgment.

"Tell me you love me?" I teased, knowing what his reaction would be.

He growled out, "Forget it" and hung up.

**-END FLASHBACK-**

I right myself again and reach over to pick up my phone. _Is there anyone else I can call...?_

I open my contacts and scroll through the list of names. _( Aaley, Alice, Amber, Ashley...)_ I skim the list from A's to Q's without finding anyone particularly interesting. When I reach a specific name in the R's, however, I pause a moment to weigh the pros and cons.

Rin Okumura is someone that I just can't seem to figure out. He may be blunt and brutally honest, but that doesn't make him any easier to understand. Ever since that fateful day we shared that conversation, I've not been able to rid him from my thoughts. That afternoon we spent together after detention a few days ago hasn't helped one bit. He's just always _there_ at the forefront of my mind.

This has never happened to me before—Women are all I think about 24/7. It doesn't make any sense for him to appear just as often. And he doesn't appear the same way as any of the girls I meet—Naked and posing attractively. No, he's just standing there smiling like an idiot.(2) It normally wouldn't effect me so much—or at all—but he's smiling that happy smile at _me_ , and it _does things to me, to my body_.

And I don't mean sexually. I _know_ what that feels like—It's physical attraction and heat and blood pooling in nether regions, it's hands everywhere and anywhere, it's lust and ripped clothing. _That_ problem can be handled quickly and efficiently.

 _This_ feels warm and safe, and the blood is, instead, traveling to my face to flame on my cheeks. And at the same time, it doesn't feel safe at all. It's confusing and unfamiliar, and I'd rather avoid _him_ in order to avoid _this_ feeling because neither of them make any sense.

However, I am Renzo Shima, and I don't chicken out or avoid others because of such trivial matters. I promptly mash the green 'Call' button and wait for him to pick up. As the phone continues to ring, I begin second guessing myself, and I come very close to pressing the 'End Call' button and forgetting this ever happened. Just as I position my thumb above the keypad, though, I hear a quiet 'Hello?' and jerk it away.

"...Uh, hey," I respond nonchalantly. (read: attempts to sound nonchalant but ends up sounding like a nervous school girl talking to her crush) I silently curse myself. "It's Shima."

A few moments of silence pass, and then, "Yeah, I know. I have you in my contacts—You typed it in yourself." He sounds amused.

I roll my eyes and lose my previous disposition. "Well, _excuse me_ for being polite, dude!" And I add this as an afterthought, "What if you gave me the wrong number and some creeper answered? I had to be sure it was actually you." I smile, satisfied with my clever reply.

"Uh huh..." He agrees easily. "I thought you said you trusted me." His voice still sounds amused, but another unidentifiable feeling is given off. "And why would you give your name?"

I rack my brain for memories of the event he is referring to, decidedly ignoring his last comment. "No... I said that I felt safe with you."

He smiles that same smile that has been occupying—no, _haunting_ my thoughts lately. I know that he is, even though I can't actually see him. The image is forever burned into my mind. I can hear it in his voice as he says, "Yeah, you said that you knew I wouldn't let anyone hurt you."

"...So?" was my intelligent reply.

He laughs a little and finally makes his point. "So why would I give you the wrong number? Something such as a 'creeper' answering is definitely possible—I wouldn't allow that to happen." He continues before I can provide a rebuttal. "Besides, there's _no way_ I could make a mistake when it comes to giving _you_ my number."

"...Whatever," I concede, but my thoughts are focused on a different matter. _'There's_ no way _I could make a mistake when it comes to giving_ you _my number.'_ Is it just me, or is there emphasis placed on the 'you'? And what does he mean he couldn't make a mistake? _Ugh!_ I yank at my hair with my free hand in frustration. _This_ is exactly why I didn't want to call him! _Why_ didn't I just listen to reason and-

"...-you call me?" I only hear the end of his sentence, so I ask him to repeat it in the nicest way possible.

"Huh?"

He sighs exasperatedly and says again, "Why did you call me, again?"

Oh. Right. What was this all about? …...Oh yeah! I was bored and lonely from being ditched by my best friends, so I wanted to meet up and chill. Now, though, it doesn't seem like such a good idea. I face-palm and flop back onto my bed. "Uh, I wanted to know what you were up to... _I_ have been ditched and left alone with nothing to do."

"I was just lazing about the house, but Yukio's been trying to kick me out all day. You want to go do something?" Ah, Rin, you kind soul, you. I didn't even have to ask.

"Sure," I readily agree because even though the guy makes me feel weird, it's definitely better than being cooped up in my house like the loser I am _not_.

* * *

I've decided to share my unrivaled wisdom with you once again, fictional person in my head.

Remember that list I mentioned before—The one about the best things in life?

Well, I think it's high time I enlighten you with a few other things that made the list: Home-made tacos, John Mayer, and good ol' Pacman.(3)

The only tacos worth eating are those made by Bon's mom—Any other types, such as those from fast food chains and restaurants can never hope to live up to the awesomeness that is Bon's mom's tacos. They're not greasy, and they don't fall apart when you pick them up. They're loaded with my favorite ingredients and cooked to perfection. I can't even properly describe them, they're that amazing.

And John Mayer is the King of the Rock/Pop Genre. His songs are slow and catchy with a nice beat. The lyrics are actually _meaningful_ , not nonsensical like that of the music kids listen to today. They're also great for setting the mood. 'Wonderland' is my personal favorite to have playing as I associate myself with the body of whatever female I happen to pick up that day.

I mean, the lyrics are pure genius: "And if you want love, we'll make it. Swim in a deep sea of blankets. Take all your big plans and break 'em. This is bound to be a while. Your body is a Wonderland." If that doesn't get the message across, I'm not sure it's worth the time it would take to persuade her.

And last but certainly not least, we have Pacman. _Do I really need to explain this one?_ This simple yet complex game is one that has been played and kept alive by many generations. It's the game that you love to hate because no matter how long you spend playing it or how many quarters you deposit, you can never ever beat it. It is awesome for existing and for delighting and frustrating all those that have experienced the pleasure of playing.

Why am I seemingly randomly spouting out this information? I happened to encounter all three of these things whilst in the company of a certain black-haired boy.

Here's what happened:

**-TECHNICALLY A FLASHBACK BUT NOT REALLY-**

I'm extremely nervous, and I don't know why. I never feel this way when I'm with Bon and Konekomaru—I'm calm and able to act natural around them. It's different with Rin. I ponder this as I wait for him to show up. I'm currently leaning against a fence, which is a few feet away from our designated meeting place, an intersection between our houses.

That reminds me... I can't even contemplate his reason for dropping me off after detention the other day. If he lived this far away, we should have parted near the school, not in front of my house. I begin to nibble at my bottom lip, a nervous habit of mine. _Was it to get my number?_ But he could have asked for it at any time. _Maybe he wanted to know where I lived?_ Why, though? We barely know each other, so it doesn't add up. _…..What if he just wanted to spend more time with me?_ But that... It doesn't... He wouldn't...

I shake my head to clear it of weird thoughts. I've been alone for way too long. I pull my phone out of my pants pocket to check the time. _10:18 AM._ Where the hell is he, anyway?

"Shima!" Speak of the Devil, and he shall appear. I swivel towards the direction of the voice, all geared up to complain about the long wait, but I'm rendered speechless. Rin looks... _Da~mn._ He looks good. He's wearing a tight-fitting black tee underneath a baby-blue button-up with the buttons left undone. Dark blue jeans with rips and tears clothe his lower half loosely, but they also frame his lithe form nicely. His dark hair is messy, as always, but it suits him. I never noticed just how attractive this kid is.

I must have been staring because he starts fidgeting and asks, "What? Is there something on my face?" I break out of whatever trance I'd fallen into and answer.

"Nah, I've just never seen you in anything other than the school uniform. I was just surprised, is all." I shrug as if I didn't (unintentionally) check him out and play it casual.

"Oh." I guess he realized it, too. "I've never seen you in anything else, either." He then takes a good, long, hard look at me. I'd have to say that what I'm wearing is rather attractive, too. A white long-sleeve covered with various designs hugs my torso, while light, faded blue jeans with decorative tears on the knees fit my legs (and buttocks) snugly. My hair is styled sexily with the many gels I've accumulated over the years.

As the seconds pass by and his gaze remains on me, I become impatient rather than embarrassed. I mean, I _know_ I'm hot, but my boredom won't relieve itself. "So what do you have planned?"

He snaps out of his daze, meets my eyes, and smiles that ridiculous smile. "I was thinking we could go to the park. It's not that far from here."

I pause to consider the idea. It's a nice day. I need the exercise. And the park shouldn't be too crowded at this time of day. I conclude that it is a good idea and tell him so.

"Alright, let's go," he chirps and begins walking. I move to his left side, and we continue at a leisurely pace.

We walk in silence for a while, until Rin decides to interrupt. "Hey, I was wondering..." He trails off and turns his gaze to the side.

"Yeah?" I prompt him when it becomes obvious he's waiting for me to do so.

"Um..." His hand goes to rub the back of his neck as if what he's about to say will be awkward. I am intrigued. "...Are the... are the rumors about you..." He glances at me, blushes, and looks away again.

"Are they true?" I inquire, even though it isn't necessary. He hesitates a moment and then nods. "Well... I do date my fair share of women, if that's what you mean." The apprehensive expression he wore changes to a slightly pained one, and my mouth continues moving of its own volition. "But I haven't been with anyone lately..." He looks hopeful, almost relieved for a split second before it changes once again. It happened so quickly I start to think I might have imagined it.

"That's... uh... good...?" He states uncertainly.

"I guess so," I shrug, but I'm actually thinking about the fact that I actually _haven't_ been with a chick for a while. That's very strange. I mean, when was the last time I got laid? I don't even know. Chill mode quickly warps into Panic mode, and I'm coming up with hundreds of (impossible, crazy, unlikely) reasons for the lack of sex.

I've reached 'My pheromones have mutated, and girls are now repelled from me' when Rin finally asks, "Are you okay?"

"What?" My voice is shaky, and I'm shocked to see the boy so close to my face. I quickly back away, and his frown deepens.

"You look shaken up. What's wrong?" His tone of voice is the most shocking to my addled mind—He sounds concerned. He actually seems as if he _cares_ about me. But _why_?

I push that thought to the back of my mind and attempt to regain my composure. "No, no, I'm fine." There's the 'I-don't-believe-that-crap' look again. "Don't worry, it's nothing I can't handle myself." I notice that we've finally reached our destination. "Oh, we're here."

He turns from me and seems as surprised as I am that we made it—I mean, we were both pretty zoned out the whole walk over. I suppose we subconsciously followed the correct path. Huh.

"You want to go sit on the swings?" Rin suggests as he points to a couple of swing sets within the park. I nod, and we make our way towards them. I glance around the park and notice couples, young and old, parents and their children, and it brings forth a sense of longing—The feeling I always seem to get when I witness families so different from mine enjoying themselves and each others company.

No matter how much I claim that I don't care, that it doesn't bother me, I haven't been able to actually get over the fact that _they_ are the way they are. My grip on the chains of the swing tighten, and I grit my teeth. I mean, why go through the trouble of having kids if you aren't willing to act like a parent? My mom's been home for three days, and she hasn't spoken a single word to me. Bon's mom always, _always_ makes sure to call and check up on me, and my own mother won't even look at me. I glare moodily at the ground, forgetting where I am and why.

Suddenly, I feel a hand on my shoulder—Déjà vu, anyone?—and I jump. "Wha-?" I inquire, obviously startled. I notice Rin and recall that I'm out with him at the park. He brings his hand to my face and feels the wetness. I hadn't even realized I was crying. My face heats up, and I jerk away and hastily wipe the tears with the sleeves of my shirt, resembling a child.

"Why are you crying?" He asks, genuinely confused. I guess he's not used to people breaking out into tears. …...Well, I suppose _I'm_ not used to tearing up randomly, either.

Nevertheless, I am a man, and men do not cry. "I'm _not_. It's sweat—Aren't you hot, too?" I tug at the collar of my shirt for added effect.

The concerned and puzzled look on his face doesn't change. "Seriously, what's up? You've been acting strange the whole time. …...Is it because of me?" The tone of his voice sounds worried and the tiniest bit vulnerable.

I roll my eyes at his assumption. "No, of course not." I wave my hand as if discarding the thought. "It's just..." I move my gaze to a family of four playing and laughing together on the slides only a little ways away from us. I sigh in defeat, knowing I've got to reveal at least some of the truth. "My family's not exactly... er... normal." I consider how best to describe them. "We're not... all that close, you see." I scratch the back of my head as I try to explain. "And the... um... happy families here... They, uh, remind me of what I'd..." I switch my gaze back to meet his and continue. "What I'd like to have."

He takes all of this in and slowly nods. He doesn't say anything, though, so I end with, "I was brooding, I guess. I know it's stupid-"

"It's not." Rin interrupts and surprises me with the definitive tone of his voice. "Don't just brush it off again. It's perfectly natural to want to be close to your family." Those steely blue eyes pierce mine, and I find myself unable to look away. "And don't decide I'll think less of you for yearning for that or crying because of it. I'm not that kind of person."

I can only reply with a weak, "Okay." Our eyes stay locked onto one another, and even as the salty drops pour down my cheeks and drip from my chin, I don't break the connection.

After a few minutes of this, I manage to compose myself and drop my sight to the ground. I'm slightly embarrassed, but I feel much better. My left hand rubs the elbow of my left arm, a subconscious reaction, and I smile slightly at Rin as I speak. "Thanks."

The smile that adorns his face this time is more mellow, less blinding, and holds an understanding. Either of my situation or of myself, I'm not sure. He suggests we go to his house, and I agree.

**-T-t-t-t-t-t-t-t-TIME MACHINE!(4)-**

The trek back to his home is spent with me listening to him babble enthusiastically about something or another. He seems to really enjoy life in general. But then again, one could tell that from just looking at the guy. His stature is always easy-going and fun-loving. It can change to defensive and intimidating in an instant, though, when he or one of his friends—or anyone, really—is threatened. This kid is pretty interesting, I muse.

Our journey comes to a halt as we arrive at what I assume is his dwelling. It's a pretty nicely sized building, I observe. His mother must manage the flowers that line the walkway. They're very beautiful, though I have no idea what types of flowers they are. I follow Rin through a white wooden door into a small foyer. I immediately experience the 'homey'-ness the house gives off. It's... welcoming. It reminds me of Bon's place.

"I'm home!" He calls out as we exit the room. No one answers, and I look to him expectantly. He notices and chuckles a bit. "Yukio's away with my old man on a trip, but it's a habit of mine to shout a greeting whenever I get home, regardless if anyone's home or not."

"'Kay," I reply even though it's not something I can relate to. None of my family members bother to announce their arrival or departure—They don't bother to speak to one another at all. The foyer leads out into the living room, which connects to the kitchen and a small hallway. "My room's upstairs," he explains and proceeds to the stairs at the end of the hall. We come upon three doors, and he opens the one on the left, presumably his bedroom.

"It's not very clean, but I like it." His bedroom is more or less as messy as mine—Clothes and soda cans cover certain areas. Although, unlike mine, his walls were almost entirely made up of posters of different bands and anime and such. I'm only sixty percent sure that there's a wall underneath them. He has a large bookshelf stuffed to the brim with various manga that takes up most of the space on the right side of the room. A bunk-bed is situated next to the wall on the left side of the room. A small bedside table with an alarm clock—one that seems to have seen its fair share of beatings—sits near the bed. A bulky TV is set on a small stand in the center of the wall opposite the bed and bookcase. An expensive-looking stereo is situated on the left side of the television set, and many CD cases are sprawled around it.

I gravitate towards the music and examine one of the CD's. "You listen to John Mayer?" I gasp out, quite shocked that he actually has one of my favorite singer's albums. I hasten to collect the others and to my utter surprise and delight, I find that almost all of them are by said musician.

He squats next to me and peeks over my shoulder. "Ah, yeah... I think his music is awesome—He's definitely the best at what he does."

I slowly turn to look at him. "Are you fucking with me?" I squeak out, still amazed at my discovery.

His brows furrow, and he must think I'm about to make fun of him because he says, "No, I actually really like his songs. Is there something wrong with that?" But I'm not listening because I make yet another discovery. Pacman, the joystick version that you hook up to the TV—He owns _that_ Pacman.

"Dude, _dude!_ " I'm still unable to make the words in my head properly form. I pick up the game in wonderment. "You _must_ be fucking with me!"

"What?" And even though he looks bewildered, I continue to gape at him. "Look, if you-"

"I think I'm in love with you," I blurt out, not even really thinking about it because _dude_ , this kid loves John Mayer enough to buy all of his albums and even owns a fucking version of Pacman that is not even made anymore, not even sold in stores.

"What?"

"You own _John Mayer_ albums—No one actually buys CD's these days. I don't even think people remember what CD players are, and you have a version of a _Pacman game_ that's not being produced or sold." The words rush out quickly in my excitement. "That's _awesome_!"

"Thanks...?" He answers uncertainly.

"Don't you realize how _cool_ you are? To actually _own_ these things..." I stare down at said items. "I mean, he's my favorite singer of all time, but I only have his songs on my iPod. And I downloaded a Pacman app on it, too, but this..." It's now that I realize I'm blubbering, so I wipe the goofy grin off my face and apologize. "Ah, sorry... I didn't mean to freak out like that."

I glance up at him as I pull myself off of the ground—I'd fallen to my knees during my gushing—and almost fall back down. That stupid happy smile is once again directed at me, but this time it's a hundred times brighter. "It's alright. I've never you seen you so worked up before," he comments casually, as if he isn't causing my retinas damage at the moment. "It's... nice."

My stomach feels funny, and my face is on fire as I mumble out, "...Yeah, well, I'm human, too, you know..."

His voice is quiet as he says, "Yeah, I know." We stand there saying nothing until he interrupts with, "So... do you want to play?" And he holds up the joystick game. I nod eagerly, and he hooks it up to the bulky TV.

* * *


	3. And Half of My Heart

"No, no, no, no, no, no, no!" _Damn you, you fucking red sheet!_ "No, no! Pacman does _not_ want to associate with you! What kind of fucking ghost chases little yellow balls with eating disorders?"

Pacman is not going so well, obviously. I'm currently sitting on the carpeted floor with Rin Okumura, the guy sitting next to me and laughing—Thanks, dude, really—and I'm sucking royally at the aforementioned game. "I mean, yeah, I could understand if you were killed by a fat guy or something in your past life, but that doesn't mean you've got to pursue _this_ one! He's been through enough!"

Between giggles—That's right, giggles—Rin was able to gasp out, "What? ...What are... you talking... about?"

"NOOOOOOOO!" I was steering little Pacman as best as I could, but the little dead bastards decided to gang up on me. I set down the controller in defeat and turn to Rin to explain my theory. "Well, see, Mr. Pacman obviously has an eating disorder."(1)

Rin raised his eyebrow—which seems to be a habit of his—and asked, "Are you serious?" Upon realizing the fact that, yes, I was serious, he went on. "Um... Okay, so let's say he actually _does_ have one—completely disregarding the fact that it's an arcade game with no actual purpose or plot—Why?"

"Duh! It's because Mrs. Pacman cheated on him with one of the ghosts!" I explained in the voice one would use when talking to a small child. I mean, like, seriously! _Can you believe this guy?_

"Right. And you know this because...?"

I rolled my eyes at his negligence. "It makes sense if you think about it. Mrs. Pacman cheats with Ghost, Mr. Pacman finds out about it, and Mr. Pacman becomes severely depressed and food is his only comfort." I pause, letting it sink in.

"Mrs. Pacman becomes disgusted with him and kicks him out—Why do you think she has a separate game altogether? He has no place to go and so begins eating food off of the floor and living in the ghetto, and it just so happens that the gang Ghost came from also lives in the ghetto."

"Let me guess: They find one another, and 'Ghost' gets his gang to chase after Mr. Pacman?" He asks in a disbelieving tone of voice.

"Well, yeah," I answer immediately, glad he was finally catching on.

He laughs a bit more and then just stares at me. "What?" I ask, slightly peeved that he'd zoned out yet again.

"You've put a lot of thought into this, haven't you?" He asks, sounding amused.

"Yeah, it's one of the best games ever. Why _wouldn't_ I ponder the genius behind it?"

"You're right, you're right," He agrees easily, his hands raised up in a defensive position.

"So... Where's your brother, again?" I wonder because it feels weird to be in someone else's home with just the two of us even if it is a guy.

He scoots closer to me, grabs the joystick, and begins a new game. "Oh, he went with my dad to some church congregation or something."

"Why did you stay behind?" I mean, I'd definitely stay behind, too, if my family ever bothered to take vacations—Well, family vacations. They travel all the time, but they're never together. The stony, cold silences at home are painful enough without throwing in awkward car rides, too.

Rin is coming close to beating his current level when he says, "Are you kidding? It'd be so boring—Both Yukio and my dad are sticklers when it comes to anything church related, which means I'd have to sit through boring speeches and 'play nice' with the other snot-nosed brats that accompany _their_ dads." He wrinkles his nose in disgust— _and I did_ not _just think it was cute, nope, no way—_ and finishes with, "I'd much rather avoid the whole thing. And besides," He glances at me for a moment before returning to his game. "it was definitely worth it."

"Well, yeah, I mean, you get the whole house to yourself!" I gesture largely to our surroundings to make my point. "I'd kill for that! My house is never empty..." I'm not lying—Maids and butlers and whatever workers my parents hired to do the jobs they're never able to do are always buzzing about the house. I can't ever bring girls home because they'd rat me out, and my mom and dad would be obligated to ground me—It's what they'd be expected to do. The show must go on, as they say. No one can belittle their parenting skills if they take the proper action once in a while.

I mentally slap myself. I'm brooding, _again_. What the hell. This is stupid. I focus my eyes on the boy beside me and find that he's concentrating rather intensely on the game. I smile a little, and the thought that Rin is capable of doing such a thing has caught my attention.

The guy has some sort of ability to calm and relax those around him. I've never cried—Well, in public, anyway—so the fact that I did so _is_ rather alarming. Rin is able to coax out emotions that I'd much rather keep hidden, and I don't know what to think about that.

….Or it might just be because I've kept everything bottled up for so long that it's at its boiling point, and he just so happens to be the one to witness it. Either way, I've been feeling off lately.

I haven't had sex in days. I'm spending my precious time with someone I barely know. I'm in an empty house with another guy. This guy saw me crying in public and comforted me afterward. Oh, and he's causing my body to have weird reactions.

I fall back on the floor, cover my face with my hands, and groan. _Why? Why me?_

Suddenly, the game music stops, and a finger pokes me in the side. "Are you dying? Because if you are, I'll have to ask you to leave. I don't want any negative spirits haunting my room—They're attracted to dead bodies, you know," He states with such a serious face that I'm left wondering whether he's really joking or not.(2)

He chuckles at my expression, I assume, and shakes his head. "I was kidding. Do you honestly believe I'd kick you out, dying or not?"

I open my mouth to answer, stop myself, pretend to think about it, and then say, "Maybe."

He jabs a finger into my side again, but this time it's with more force and causes me to clutch the spot and roll around, all the while muttering, "Ow, ow, ow, ow, ow!"

"What the hell, dude?" I demand of him. He merely sticks his tongue out at me and then continues his game as if he were never interrupted. _How rude._

After taking a few moments to get over my 'anger', I reposition myself to where I'm lying on my chest close to Rin and watching him play. I think his breathing has increased, but it's probably just adrenaline—Pacman _is_ a pretty aggressive video game, after all.

**-I've had the time skip of my life~! And it's never skip~ped this way before! And I swear, this is true! And I owe it all to you~!-**

A few hours later, we're both sick of failing epically at Pacman, so we're just kind of lounging around in his room. I'm sitting cross-legged on the floor and leaning back against Rin's bed, flipping through one of the many manga said boy's collected. He's lying horizontally across the bed and throwing a tennis ball up into the air, catching it as it comes down, then repeating the process.

He shatters the comfortable silence—Actually, no matter how comfortable, I hate silence, but I don't want to be the one to break it—by asking, "Do you have a girlfriend?" His tone seems purely curious, so I oblige him.

"Ah, no," I answer without explaining any further and return to the manga. Tomo-kun is about to confess his love to another woman—Whoa, I've gotta admit I didn't think he had the balls.

"Why not?" This guy is not one to be deterred, huh.

"Because I'm not interested in having a relationship with any of the women I acquaint myself with," I reply simply, and I can tell he's not satisfied with it.

"Is there anyone you don't know or only know of that you _would_ be interested in dating?"

"Nope."

"So you're going to stay single...?"

"That's the gist of it, I think."

"What if you met someone new that you'd want to be with? Would you just brush that person aside, too?"

"It depends on the person."

"What kind of personality or qualities would this person need to have?"

"Fuck, I don't know." I grumble out, quickly becoming tired of the interrogation.

"Come on! There have to be _some_ -"

"Fine! Fine! Just let me think about it for a minute!" I concede, and he immediately shuts up. I roll my eyes and begin to identify traits and such I like in a person. "Let's see: I love a person that is blunt and honest, rather intelligent, good-looking, friendly, likeable, clicks with me," I name them, counting them on my fingers as I do so. "I don't like clingy people, player haters, or ditzy blondes." I go over them once more in my head. Yup, that seems to be it. "Are you happy, now?"

"Yes, very, but I have one more question..." His tone of voice is gleeful, and I can't bring myself to understand why. I mean, I just listed attributes of my ideal girl. All guys have one.

"Alright. Lay it on me."

"Hypothetically speaking, if the right person came along, would you even consider giving them a chance?"

I mull over the possibility. "Yeah, I guess I would. But I've never met a person like that, so I don't really know for sure..."

We're both quiet as we think over what we've just learned. (I say 'we' because I'd never really thought about any of this before, so I'm basically learning about myself, too.) This is the moment my stomach chooses to growl loudly. He laughs and suggests, "Do you want to stay for a late lunch?" Lunch? Already? I pull my phone out of my pocket and check the time. It read _1:34PM_ in blinking red font.

"Okay." I've heard about Rin's awesome cooking skills, and I'm excited to try it out for myself. "What are you cooking?"

**-If you're lost, you can look, and you will find me, time skip the time! If you fall (in love), I will capture you, I will be waiting, time skip the time~!-**

Hot and steamy flesh, fluids dripping everywhere, curves and smooth skin, moans of pleasure, begging for more, _I could just melt_...

"This taco is fucking delicious!" I chirp at Rin as I devour the monstrous, juicy-looking home-made taco that he'd set on my plate.

"Thanks!" He pulls out a chair to sit across from me. "Tacos are my best dish—I made them so often before that Yukio forced me to have a set cooking schedule. Saturdays are tacos."

"If I wasn't already glad I'd called you, I certainly am now!" I take another bite and moan as a mix of taco seasoning/meat, lettuce and tomato, and melted cheese swirls within my mouth and dances on my taste buds. "This is the best taco I've ever had in my entire life!" I stop chewing and think about that for a second. "Uh, wait, don't tell Bon's mom I said that—She'd be crushed."

I hear no reply or acknowledgment of any kind, so I open my eyes (it tastes better when I do that, it allows me to only focus on the food) and see him staring at me once again. "Rin? Hey, dude, you still with me?" I wave my hand in front of his face, and he snaps out of it. "Dude, I give you the compliment of a lifetime, and you're not even _listening_." I shake my head in mock disappointment.

He chuckles weakly. "Heh, yeah..."

At this, I peer closely at him and realize that his cheeks are flushed and that he looks to be panting a bit. "You okay? Are you sick?"

"No!" He denies rather quickly. "Uh, I mean, no, I'm not sick. I just need to... er.. excuse myself for a minute." I nod, though I am slightly suspicious. "Right. If you need anything, feel free to use it. I don't mind." And with that, he strides off upstairs, and I'm left sitting at the bar in the kitchen holding nothing but a dripping taco and looking rather confused.(3)

"Oh well." Even if he is acting strange, who am I to judge? Maybe he always acts like this at home. I mean, I'm a lot more distant at home myself. I perish any thoughts that maybe, just maybe he was getting worked up over _me_ and take another bite of my taco.

**-It's something unpredictable but in the end is right. I hope you had the time skip of your life!-**

We've both finished eating, and we're back in Rin's room. I spot the stereo and decide I'd like to listen to John Mayer—The quality must be awesome. I turn to Rin. "You care if I put on John Mayer?" He shakes his head, and so I crawl from my current spot to sit closer to the stereo.

I take a while to choose between the albums, but I finally pick 'Battle Studies' and stick it in. The player shuffles the songs and lands on 'TRACK 3'. I instantly recognize the song as 'Half of My Heart' and leave it, returning to my previous position.

_I was born in the arms of imaginary friends..._

_Free to roam, made a home out of everywhere I've been..._

"I love this song," I announce, trying to situate myself in a way that's comfortable. The side of the bed is metal, and it doesn't exactly cushion my back."The lyrics are pretty cool."

_Then, you come crashing in, like the realest thing..._

_Trying my best to understand all that your love can bring..._

"Me, too," Rin mumbles from his spot above me, his head resting on his pillow.

I lazily roll my head to the right to look up at him and question, "Why?"

He shrugs as if to say 'Dunno, but then, he answers, "Reminds me of someone..."

I nod and then start singing along.

_Oh, half of my heart's got a grip on the situation._

_Half of my heart takes time._

_Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you that_

_I can't keep loving you._

"Shima..." Rin calls out as the first chorus ends. When I answer 'hmm?', he says, "You can cross Professional Singer off of your list of career choices—It's probably for the best. I mean, you don't even have a singer's hips! Those hips are _essential_ in the process of-"

"Ha ha, very funny," I bark out sarcastically and elbow him in the—Well, I'm not exactly sure. I know that I hit _some_ thing, though, because he cries out in pain, and I laugh.

_I was made to believe I'd never love somebody else..._

_I made a plan, stay the man who can only love himself..._

I almost snort as I realize how closely these lyrics resemble _my_ life. How sad is it that a _song_ sums it up? The blow is lessened, however, because it's a song by John Mayer, but still. It hurts my pride just the tiniest bit.

_Lonely was the song I sang 'til the day you came..._

_Showing me another way and all that my love can bring..._

Lonely? Pfft! I'm not lonely! I'm _always_ with _someone—_ Being lonely isn't possible with the kind of friends and friends-with-benefits I have. I suppose the song differentiates from my life at this point.

Well... I know that the chicks are only in it for the sex—I am, too... But that doesn't make me feel... Agh! Whatever.

I _know_ I'm not 'lonely'! I'm certainly not alone now! I'm with... Oh. I'm with a guy. Right.

I think, though, that I like spending time with him. And it's different from when I hang out with Bon and Konekomaru—As much as I love to... They're like brothers to me. Everyone knows that. _They_ know that. And I don't have that kind of.. er... affection for Rin.

He's cool. He amuses me. We share interests. I'm finding out that I like to be with him. But he's not another Bro.. No, he's-

And my thoughts are cut short as I come back to reality and realize that Rin is now singing along to the lyrics.

_Half of my heart's got a right mind to tell you_

_That half of my heart won't do..._

Why the hell is it that he has the ability to sing—and sing well—but I'm stuck with _this..._ uh, less cool voice. I look up to the sky—Well, I would be, you know, if the ceiling weren't in the way—and mentally question life.

_And half of my heart is the part of a man_

_who's never truly loved anything..._

As the song fades while repeating 'Half of my heart', we fall back into silence, and I'm surprised to learn that despite my hatred of it, it's slightly less deafening with _him_.

**-We're smiling, but we're close to tears. Even after all these years, we just now got the feeling that we're time-skipping for the first time! Whooo~!-**

"I guess I'll see you later..."

"Yeah..."

The sun is sinking further beyond the trees as Rin and I say our goodbyes on his doorstep. I have to admit that it's only slightly awkward. I mean, it _seems_ like it's the end of a romantic date, and if it were, this would be the part where I'd lean in and kiss the girl before walking away and leaving her to swoon. However, it is _not_ a date, and we will _not_ kiss, so we're just kind of standing here.

"I had a good time tonight." Having never been in this situation before, I accidentally revert to Playboy Shima's dialogue, and I am thoroughly embarrassed. "I mean, uh, you're cool, and your, uh, house is cool, and well, yeah, I like it, uh, so, I..."

He chuckles at my babbling. "Relax, dude, you don't have to be so nervous." He smiles largely, and I begin to think he gets a kick out of reducing me to a mess like this. "Anyway, let's meet up again sometime."

I pause because this probably—No, it _definitely_ sounds like he's asking me out, or it would if this were a chick flick. And in this scenario, my answer would have to be something like 'I'd like that' or something. But there's _no way_ I'm- "Yeah, I'd like that." _Damn it._

He sends me another dazzling smile and wishes me 'Goodnight' quietly. I reply with, "Night," and begin the trek back home. He'd offered to walk me, but then, he'd have to travel back to his house alone. And I'd feel guilty. Even though he could probably defend himself against any late-night attackers, I wouldn't want to put him in such a situation.

**(END OF FLASHBACK)**

**-You know how the time flies. Only yesterday was the time-skip of our lives.-**

"Hahahahahahah...!"

"It's _not_ funny."

"You're... You're kidding, right?"

"Uh... no.."

"Hahahaha you... you-ahahahahah!"

"I am going to punch you in the stomach."

"C'mon, Shima..."

It takes a few minutes for me to calm down. But honestly, it's very funny—In fact, it's hilarious. It's Sunday, and I'm on the couch in Bon's living room. I'd asked about the group date they'd decided to attend without me, and they told me the _best story ever_.

Apparently, when the girls had heard that Bon and Konekomaru were going to be there, they'd immediately assumed _I_ would be, too. It's a reasonable assumption—I'm usually with those two the majority of the time. Anyway, so the chicks showed up expecting my awesome presence, and instead, they got these two.

They were pretty disappointed, but they'd stayed anyway because if these guys were so close to the great Renzo Shima, then they _must_ be just as awesome.

However, what they didn't know was that even though Bon looks like a rebel and all, he's very strict—and hotheaded—and can become tight-lipped around women. (Besides, he's got a humongous crush on Izumo—There's no way he could go out with another girl. He only stays for Konekomaru.) And Konekomaru _would_ be the perfect boyfriend. He's kind and thoughtful, and he would never cheat. But he's terribly shy. He can't even talk to a girl without stuttering and blushing—Things he should be causing _her_ to do.

Obviously, I have no such person to tie me down, and I am suave and charming when it comes to women. Girls are instantly attracted to me anywhere I go, so I wasn't all that surprised that Bon and Konekomaru had planned one without me. I wasn't even mad—I just don't like being excluded. They're my best friends, and I don't want them going out and doing stuff by themselves.

Of course, I _do_ have little excursions with women, but I never choose them over those two. Bon and Konekomaru are definitely more important to me.

And then, there's Rin. He is also rather special—I mean, I spent an entire Saturday with him when I could have been picking up girls.

"So what happened after they saw what you were really like?" I ask, eager to learn more.

Bon rolls his eyes at my curiosity. "They made up some excuse to leave, and we were left in the diner with the two other guys and their dates."

Konekomaru, still blushing from the mortifying experience, adds, "It was so awkward. We ended up just going home."

I laugh some more. I can clearly picture the series of events in my mind, and it was so worth not going just so _this_ would happen. "You know, Konekomaru, I _could_ teach you-"

"No thank you!" He interrupts, and I'm thoroughly amused. Of course, I knew what his answer would be—It's always the same. I wouldn't teach him even if he did agree. He's too innocent to learn the ways of a playboy. Besides, Bon would kick my ass if he ever heard me telling Konekomaru such things.

"So what did you do while we were gone?" Konekomaru asks politely. He's probably expecting me to give some crass comment or gesture or something.

Instead, I answer casually, "I was with Rin Okumura."

Both of them stop what they were doing to look up at me. (Bon was studying some book assigned to us in class, and Konekomaru was completing a worksheet—Why am I friends with them, again?) "What?" Konekomaru was the one to ask.

How did I know that they were going to question me? I roll my eyes—We seem to do that a lot, huh—and repeat myself. "I was with Rin Okumura. We hung out most of the day yesterday."

Bon looks to be suspicious of my motives, and Konekomaru seems unsure. _You guys have a lot of faith in me, don't you?_ "...Why?"

"Because my _best friends ditched me_ , that's why." Maybe I can guilt them into doing stuff for me. That would be nice...

Bon immediately says, "We know you don't actually care about that, so don't get any ideas." _Damn. Suppose that's what happens when you spend years getting to know one another._

"Okay, okay," I give up and answer differently. "He seemed like a cool guy at detention the other day, so I figured 'Why not?' and called him."

"You have his number...?

"Yeah, we exchanged them after he walked me to my house." Ah, I didn't mean to tell them that.

"He walked you to your house?"

I shift uncomfortably—The looks they're giving me are kind of creepy. "Uh, yeah..."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Maybe he wanted to be friends with me. Why does it matter?" I grumble out. This feels like the freakin' Spanish Inquisition.

Konekomaru notices my discomfort and explains, "Sorry, Shima. It's just a bit unusual for you to hang out with a guy—Other than us, that is. And we were surprised."

Bon nods and says, "I thought you'd have gone on a date with a girl."

"Oh..." I can understand that, I suppose. I was shocked, too.

"We're not against you being friends with Okumura-kun or anything," He amends. "From what I've heard and seen of him, he seems like a good person."

I smile a bit and say, "Yeah, he's fun. You guys should see his room! It's-"

And I go on to tell them everything—the John Mayer CD's, Pacman, tacos, cluttered walls, his singing voice—Everything except my body's reactions to him.

Somehow, I feel as if I should keep that to myself.

**-I'm about to lose my mind. You've been gone for so long. I'm running out of time skips. I need a doctor. Call me a doctor. I need a doctor, doctor to bring me back to life.-**

High school is my kingdom.

I am the King, and I have loyal subjects and followers.

They accept me without complaint, and I, in turn, allow them to live in peace.

I rule fairly, justly.

However...

I am in no need of a Joker.

I _am_ the Joker, the fool, the butt of the jokes.

No one tries to understand me. No one bothers to question _why_.

As I am ridiculed by the very people I stand above, I struggle to grasp such knowledge.

_Why?_

He knows.

The very one chosen to protect also knows of the pain and the reasons behind it.

He stands to become a much better ruler than I. The man always faithfully at my side... That never strays from his path...The man that _knows_...

And this leaves but one question...

Am I truly the King of this bigoted, self-indulgent, masochistic establishment...?

Or is he?

**-EXTRA SCENE-**

**(This goes back to when they were listening to John Mayer)**

As the CD plays through the songs, I find myself becoming dissatisfied with my position on the floor. I decide to move to the bed. I stand up and attempt to shove Rin over so that I may sit down, but he won't budge.

"Move over," I demand as I continue pushing him lightly.

By now, he's lying on his chest with his face in his pillow—How has he not managed to suffocate?—and his limbs are dangling over both sides. "Un-uh" is what he seems to have muttered, and I shove harder.

His arm shoots out to grab me to stop the assault, I assume, but he ends up pulling me down on top of him. As we scramble to get off of one another, we move into a rather... er... suggestive position.

He is now on his back, face to face with me, while I am hovering over him, my arms holding his wrists and my right knee in between his legs. _Oh shit.._.

And as if it couldn't get any worse, the lyrics from the song resounding around the room are:

_There's something 'bout the way the hair falls in your face,_

_And I love the shape you take when crawling towards the pillow case._

_You tell me where to go, and though I might leave to find it,_

_I'll never let your head hit the bed without my hand behind it..._

_You want lo-_

We were far, far away from each other before John Mayer could even utter the word 'love'.

'Wonderland'—Great for setting the mood, _horrible_ to listen to whilst pinning Rin Okumura to his own bed, my face inches from his own.

Thanks Universe. I have now found the one and only reason _not_ to play this song.(4)


	4. And Rumors and Revelations

_It's a good place_ , I think to myself as I scout the room for possible targets. _A perfect place to pick up a girl..._

I'm leaning against the wall of a building filled with flashing colorful lights and tons of sweaty bodies grinding one another to the loud techno music blaring out of large speakers. I'm wearing a black suit jacket completely unbuttoned with a pink long-sleeved button up underneath. A black Fedora sits atop styled pink locks, and matching pants clothe my lower half.

As I search through the crowds, I finally spot her—A rather well-equipped woman sitting by herself at the bar. I smirk to myself, use my left hand to pull my hat slightly downwards, and begin making my way towards her. From what I can see, she is wearing a rather tight-fitting black strapless dress, which contrasts well with her tanned skin. Long, dark ringlets fall over her shoulders and midways down her back. Nicely-sized breasts bulge at her front, and toned lengthy legs connect to black strap heels crossed at the ankles.

"A Dirty Martini?" I question as I seat myself on the bar stool next to her. "I fancy a Vodka Martini myself."(1) I signal to the bartender and turn toward the woman.

"Do you?" She asks glancing me over in the corner of her eye.

"Yeah, I-" The bartender returns with the alcohol and sets it down in front of me.

"$10.50." I grab my wallet out of my pocket and pay the man, then continue what I was saying.

"It makes me feel a bit like James Bond, honestly." I explain, and she giggles to herself.

"Well, if that's your reason..." She says and then does a sort of 'come closer' motion with her forefinger. I oblige, and she whispers into my ear. "We could..."

I smirk once more as I pull away. "That certainly sounds like something he'd do." I sip a bit of my drink and then incline my head in the direction of the exit. "You want to... now?"

She smiles sexily and nods. "Alright then," I proceed to gulp the rest of my Martini and replace it on the table.

As I move to face the crowd again, however, I discover a familiar face. "What...?" I try to look past the dancing masses, but it's to no avail. Suddenly, I can clearly see bright blue eyes staring straight into mine. Rin Okumura is standing on the opposite side of the room, gazing at me with a rather melancholic expression.

I begin pushing my way through the other people to get to him when I'm pulled rather harshly back to the bar. "What the hell?" There is a very feminine hand clutching a handful of my jacket, and it leads up to a very upset looking woman. _Oh yeah..._

"Where do you think you're going?" She hisses at me, obviously cross because I was walking away from her.

"I saw someone I know..." I elaborate. I look back to said person, and he seems even more gloomy than before—It's almost as if he's been pained by something... "I uh, need to go, ah, check on him..." I know it's kind of rude to just leave her like this, but I need to see what's up with him.

As I attempt to free myself, her grip tightens. "You shouldn't." Her tone of voice is now very hard and resolute.

"Huh? _Why?_ " What the hell is she going on about?

Her lips are set in a very thin line. "You just shouldn't. You don't know what's going to happen if you go with him—You're much safer with me."

My brows furrow in confusion. "What are you talking about? I'm not going to get hurt-"

"You barely know anything about him, and yet you're willing to leave a hot girl to go to his side? What's happened to you, Shima?"

How-? What the fuck? "How do you know my name?"

She continues despite the interruption. "He's a _guy_! You don't find guys attractive!"

"Wha-? Who said I-"

"You're supposed to be a _Playboy_! Think of all the women out there that need a good fuck!"

"What is that even-"

"You don't even know _how_ to fuck a guy! What makes you think it'll be so amazing with this one?"

"I never said I'd-"

"Women are all you've ever known, and yet you still choose him?"

"Look! I don't know _what_ the hell you've been drinking tonight, lady, but you should probably go home. _I'm_ going to check on my friend." I finally become tired of her tirade and stomp off to find Rin.

I have to push my way through loads of people moving about and knocking into one another—I actually think a few were having sex in time with the music—but I finally get to the door I'd seen Rin go through and open it.

The scenery then begins to morph into something else. The blaring building behind me disappears and is replaced by—Well, nothing. We're now located in a grassy open field, and the sun's out. This field stretches on for miles. "Where _are_ we? And what the fuck just happened?" I ask aloud in the hopes that someone will have the answers.

I turn around, and I find Rin standing in front of me and smiling brilliantly. I suppose whatever his problem was has been dealt with.

"You came for me..." He says almost as if he can't believe it.

"Well, yeah, you looked troubled..." Why wouldn't I come for him? I'd do the same for Bon or Konekomaru.

"You actually chose _me_..."

Why is he so surprised? "Yeah... I did..."

"Thank you... so much..."

Ah... "You're welc-" He quickly moves forward and embraces me tightly. I stand awkwardly for a second, slow to respond. Then, I close my eyes and return the hug, settling my chin atop his head. Spikes of his hair are tickling my chin, but I don't pull away.

I close my eyes, and his arms tighten around me.

Despite my lack of knowledge on exactly _what the fuck_ is going on, all I can wrap my head around is: _He smells really, really good—Kind of fruity..._

I blink, and I'm met with the pale blue of my ceiling.

It takes a few moments before I realize I'm in my room and that everything that just transpired was all in my head.

"What a-" Que yawn. "weird dream..." I comment to myself before I shift the covers and prepare to go back to sleep. (2)

* * *

I wake up once more, and the only things I can recall of my slumber are strobe lights and strawberries.

Huh.

Anyway, I begin the very slow process of coercing myself into getting out of bed. Skipping school is a bad habit of mine. I'm leaning slightly more towards going back to sleep, but... _Ah, Bon would definitely kick my ass... And then, as if that weren't bad enough already, he'd give me a ridiculously long lecture, too._

… _.Yeah, think I'll pass on that..._

"Agh!" I bring both of my hands to my head and ruffle my hair in sleepy frustration. Groaning, I roll out from under the covers and move my legs over the side, and my feet touch the floor.

Rather lethargically, I hoist myself up to my feet, steady myself, and shuffle towards the bathroom. My bathroom is of average size—Just the kind of bathroom you'd expect to be tacked onto a teenager's bedroom. I step out of my rocket-covered blue boxers, throw them into a corner somewhere, and slide open the glass door of the shower.

I turn on what I assume is the correct faucet, but as I move under the stream of water, biting cold wetness hits my back. Freezing, I grope around trying to locate the red faucet, manage to do so, and hurriedly twist it on. _Fuck my life..._

Sadly, this happens most mornings—You'd think I'd have learned by now, but... I quickly wash my body, lather-rinse-repeat my hair (Why do you think it's so soft?), and exit the shower with a towel wrapped around my waist.

After taking a piss, I towel off my hair, squeeze half a dozen different gels on top, and begin styling it. Once I decide it's sexy enough, I return to my room, dress myself, and head downstairs.

My parents work late or early or something—Either way, they're never in the house in the mornings, so it's not shocking to find myself alone leaning on the kitchen counter with Poptarts and a glass of milk as my breakfast. My older brothers mostly leave earlier than would ever be possible for me, so their absence is also expected.

The beeping of my phone tells me it's time to leave, so I grab my bag and head out, shoving the last of the pastry into my mouth as I do so. I'll be meeting Konekomaru and Bon at our usual spot.

* * *

It's the last block of the day, and I've got Study Hall. Rather than waste my time studying—Something only boring folks and Bon and Konekomaru would do—I decide to wander about the school. Our teacher, Mr. Rogers, (or as I like to call him, Baldy) the balding man currently drooling on his neatly pleated khakis, won't notice my absence.

As I pass through the hallways, I revel in the peace and quiet. Normally, the halls are crowded with hundreds of students all pushing one another aside to reach their own destinations and chattering unnecessarily loudly. It's nice to amble along like this.

I find some money in my pocket and head for the snack machine in the courtyard closest to me. (There are many of them located all around the school.)

I make my way over to a machine and look over the choices. Hmm... Cheese-y goodness... or chocolatey pretzels... "Ah, what the hell..." I mutter and choose to buy both of them. I crouch down to collect my snacks, and as I begin to stand up, my head collides with a hard surface.

" _Ow_!" Of course, it might have actually been a person since inanimate objects do not have the ability to speak and cannot feel pain.

I attempt to rub the ache away with my hands, ignoring the intruder for the moment. "Sorry... I didn't mean for that to happen..." I recognize the voice and snap my head up to find Rin Okumura. _Well, damn._

"Uh... yeah, it's alright..." I wave away his apology and stare at him curiously. "What are you doing here?" It's a bit strange to find him everywhere I go these days. I suppose I'd never really noticed him before we'd spoken those fateful few months ago, so that could be why I'm not used to seeing him around.

He smiles as he explains, "Our teacher gave us a free period, and I just kind of ended up here after walking around..." He looks to be embarrassed. I wonder why... "And you?"

"I basically had a free period, too." I shrug. It's not really a big deal.

Now, he's wearing the curious expression. It's oddly befitting in a way. "What do you mean 'basically'?"

"I mean to say that I ditched Study Hall." My expression is one of indifference. Like I said, skipping class isn't really an issue. Bon and Konekomaru are the most intelligent kids in our grade, and I'm best friends with them. They'll obviously take notes and such in the classes I miss, and I'm very persuasive when I want to be. (Meaning one pleading look to Konekomaru, and he'll crack and give them to me)

He rolls his eyes. "Should have guessed..." He seems as if he expected my answer. I become a bit indignant at that.

"Why?"

"Because it's you."

"And what does _that_ -Oh, wait. Right." I concede to his point. By now, everyone is used to my occasional absence. My teachers don't even bother to question me about it anymore. Oh well.

He chuckles. "So what are you going to do?" He inquires. I head over to plop down on a bench near the machine. I open the bag of chips and begin eating them. I wonder if that was a clear enough answer.

"I'm going to exorcise some demons."(3) Yeah, that's better.

He snorts at my sarcasm and takes a seat on my bench. "Seriously." I offer my chips to him, and he grabs a handful of them.

"I don't know," I answer honestly. I mean, what does he _expect_ me do? We're at school. Besides studying or something school-related, what _is_ there to do? ….I suppose I could seduce some chick and have a quickie, but for some reason, the idea isn't that appealing. Suddenly, an idea comes to me. "Hey, you wanna go to 'the roof'?"

'The roof' was a well-known romantic spot located on the building farthest southwest. It's not really my kind of place—Everyone goes there for sex and making out and everything in between. I prefer quiet, unused places—Like well, classrooms and closets and such. (The classrooms would be empty, of course. I'm not the kind of guy that gets excited with an audience. My own bedroom would be better.) However, I'm not taking him there for anything sexual. It's purely because it's going to be deserted during this time of day, and the view is amazing.

He couldn't know this, though, so his immediate sputtering at my suggestion is understandable. "W-wh-what? Th-th-the roof?" His bewildered expression is—and I'm rather alarmed at the thought—adorable. He reminds me of a puppy, to be honest. _And puppies are cute, so it's perfectly normal for me to find Rin cute, too. …..Yeah..._

I hastily elaborate. " _Not like that_! I just wanted to go to the roof to see the view—Not to... _You know_!" I don't even know what I was going to say, so I cut myself off. The idea of doing…. _things_ to, to _Rin_ , of all people is... is... I shake my head to clear it. My thoughts are beginning to sound strange.

His shoulders sag in relief, I assume, and he lets out a sigh. I guess he was as against the idea of _it_ as I was. ….My chest hurts a bit, and I don't know why. The list of things I don't understand is starting to become quite long.

"So... you didn't mean... Oh..." His tone of voice is slightly odd. Maybe he's still shocked...? He lets out a longer sigh and says, "...Okay, let's go." And he begins walking towards 'the roof'.

 _He seems... disappointed_ , I think as I watch him go. A moment later, I jog to catch up with him. _Whatever._

* * *

"And here we are!" I announce our arrival as I pull back some of the branches blocking the entrance. Acting the part of a butler, I dramatically gesture for him to enter. I even bow stiffly with one hand in front and one in back.

He laughs and steps under the limbs, beginning his ascent to the very top of the building. We were already technically on 'the roof', but another tiny little building was located on the right, allowing one to travel even further upwards by way of ladder. I quickly follow.

The sight we come upon as we reach the top is breathtaking. The sun is lower in the sky, and instead of its usual bland blue, bright golds and oranges and specks of purple blend together brilliantly and stretch across the sky. The remarkable beauty is augmented by the incredible architecture of True Cross Academy and the radiant vegetation surrounding it.

I glance over to Rin only to find that he is just as entranced, mouth agape and eyes wide. I let out some sort of crazy combination of a sigh and a laugh. He snaps out of his stupor and looks to me questioningly. "Sorry... It's just that..." And I focus my gaze on the sky once again. "I'm glad I came here with you." It's true—Had Rin not have bumped into me, I'd have been doing something else, something probably not even worth doing. The thought to come here would not have occurred to me. And well... I'd rather recline back on this roof and watch the slow descent of the sun with him rather than sneak into an abandoned supply closet to make out with some girl. The thought that such a thing was almost breaking character for me was pushed to the back of my mind.

I continue to watch the sky, so I do not see the effect my words have on Rin. His flaming cheeks and erratic heart beat go unnoticed, much to said boy's relief.

We spend the rest of the afternoon chatting aimlessly about whatever we happen to think of, and then, we split up—Each of us going to find our own companions. Yukio would surely be waiting for him, he told me. And Konekomaru and Bon are most likely waiting for me at the school gates—Knowing already that I'd skipped without my telling them because they had a knack for such things.

* * *

It's a perfectly swell Tuesday, and I'm stuck at home alone _again_.

Why? It's because I've got the day off, and rather than acting like the reckless teenagers they're _supposed_ to be, Bon and Konekomaru are off taking extracurricular courses, while I'm left to stew in my loneliness.

 _Great._ What the hell happened to being best friends? It seems like I've been spending more time with a _total stranger_ than my so-called adoptive family. Okay, okay, so Rin's not actually a stranger. Well, he's not anymore. But still, it's starting to become ridiculous.

It's been a week or so since our little excursion to 'the roof', which in hindsight might have not been the best idea—A few students had seen the two of us exiting the most well-known romantic hotspot in the entire academy, and as always seems to be the case in high school, by the time we'd returned to the main building, the rumor had spread to almost everyone in the school.

I haven't had a single moment's peace since it happened. Of course, it was hard to believe that someone such as myself had er... 'hooked up' with someone like Rin—a guy, no less, but most looked past those minor faults—Que snort—and immediately took it upon themselves to assume the worst and label us... _lovers_.

I involuntarily shiver. I honestly cannot believe that it only takes one incident—A misunderstanding, for goodness' sake!—for a person's entire identity or... ah, sexuality to be put into question. I have now gone from being the womanizing Playboy to the 'pining' homosexual that must keep his 'love' a secret for fear of backlash!

Yeah, they've also decided we've been keeping our love affair a secret and that my having sex with so many women was actually just a cover. Where in the hell do they come up with these things?

And of course, Bon and Konekomaru find the whole thing hilarious. I don't even know whether they actually believed me when I told them the truth—That Rin and I _aren't_ in any kind of sexual or romantic relationship. As far as they're concerned, whether or not it _is_ the truth, it bothers the fuck out of me, so it's something to be gleeful about.

 _Just you wait, Bon_ , I think with a sort of wicked amusement. _Just you wait until you finally grow a pair and attempt to woo Eyebrows—This young man won't be helping you, not even when she kicks you in those newly formed man jewels. I'll be laughing it up just as well._

Rin seems surprising okay with the rumor mill. He's not been biting the heads off of anyone stupid enough to utter such things within earshot of him—Something I'm too happy to do—and he's not even denying the accusations. In fact, he's not doing anything.

Well, anything about the situation. He's pretty much ignoring it, though, he will occasionally smile when confronted about it.

The worst—or best, I'm not really sure—thing about all of this is that girls are swarming around me even more than before. Apparently, the fact that I supposedly am off of the market now completely is hot. I've been asked on more than one occasion if I'd like to have a threesome with the girl, Rin, and myself. I obviously refuse these offers. Participating in a Devil's Three Way is not, nor will it ever be on my list of things to do.

Konekomaru assured me that all of the fuss would die down soon. Something shocking and exciting will happen to some other unfortunate individuals, and our tale of woe will be forgotten, he told me. I sure hope so because even if I'm getting twice the ladies, the damage to my reputation is quite disconcerting. The looks I receive from men has increased significantly as well—I've been asked to have a 'go' with numerous male students.

It's quite terrifying not even being able to distinguish between classmates and folks trying to sleep with me. Having a break from all of that was a welcome treat, but I didn't want to spend the day alone.

I'd call Rin, but I'm slightly hesitant to do so. Things haven't become... weird between us. Nevertheless, there is a certain awkwardness in the air. And I don't want to risk anyone finding out he and I were together... at my home... by ourselves. _Damn my fucking imagination! Go away, go away, go away..._

People would get the wrong idea.

I happen to glance at the time on the television and notice that it's getting late. As much as I'd like to stay up and continue letting my thoughts wander, I find myself yawning and my eyelids drooping and decide going to bed is a good idea. I click the button on the remote, effectively turning the TV off. I'd been watching a marathon of this cool new show titled _Lou Becksor's Assist_ , in which a demon named Lou Becksor assists everyone—It's a different person with a different problem each episode!(5)

When I settle into bed that night, I dream of black hair and puppies.

That is, before everything is engulfed by blue flames.


	5. And Secrets and (Manly) Butterflies

Lately, I've been having these weird thoughts(1).

I'm finding myself wanting to hang out with _him_ more and more. And normally, it wouldn't mean anything. I wouldn't be so worried...

But it's _strange_ and _different_... And I don't know how to handle it or what to do.

Talking with him, just chatting even, sends my body into a whirlpool of chaos and emotions. It's not _bad_ , either, it's _good_ , and I know that's not _right_ because _good_ should only describe or apply to _sexual attraction_ to a _woman_ , not him.

And it's not _just_ that. I want to be around him, alone, all the time, _and I shouldn't..._

….I shouldn't think that way.

"Fuck!" I cry out, frustrated and just really fucked up at the moment. I'm on the floor of my balcony, a little white-painted add-on to my room. I'd needed fresh air after the completely unwarranted idea that had materialized in my mind after IM-ing the boy that's causing me physical and emotional turmoil.

**-FLASHBACK-**

I'd just gotten back to my house after spending the night at Bon's—We, that is, Bon, Konekomaru, and I, had stayed up late playing Guitar Hero (Whatever number—I've already forgotten) and pigging out on Bon's mom's cooking (Which could be, like, food of the Gods!) and generally acting ridiculous. After being woken up on the couch by his mom—I was too lazy to make the trek upstairs—I'd eaten a proper breakfast of pancakes, toast, and orange juice and then been sent home. Bon's mother could be pretty adamant about Konekomaru and I going home to our families in order to cease their worrying (I'd fought not to roll my eyes or snort).

Anyway, shortly after arriving home, I'd logged into my Facebook account because I'd had nothing else to do and scrolled through the many other members online at the time. Once again, I'd been inexplicably drawn towards the 'R's and low and behold, _he_ was there, the letters of his name glowing brightly on my laptop screen. I clicked his name and typed:

Renzo Shima: _Hey_

I waited a few seconds, and then:

Rin Okumura: _hey, what's up?_

Renzo Shima: _Not much... You?_

Rin Okumura: _just talking to you_

I'd always found chatting with people on the Internet... awkward, but somehow, this was a lot worse. I'd had no idea what to say. And my rapidly beating heart didn't help matters...

Rin Okumura: _wanna know something funny?_

Thankful he'd kept the conversation going, I replied:

Renzo Shima: _Sure_

Rin Okumura: _some girls in my class asked me if I planned on marrying you right out of high school... LOL_

And suddenly, my chest was tight, and my entire body was on fire. My fingers froze above the keypad, and I stared blankly at the screen. Images of he and I in such a place, standing at the altar, and his brilliant, luminous smile focused on _me and only me_ , and I...

I quickly typed in some sort of excuse about having to leave and logged out, shutting my laptop hurriedly(2).

**-END FLASHBACK-**

And now, here I am, cursing at the sky and hiding from my laptop.

It's quite pathetic, really.

I feel my phone vibrating in my pocket and pull it out to see who has decided to irk me in my time of woe. I let out a sigh and hold down the button on the top of it for a few seconds, powering it off.

It was Rin asking about my well-being. I don't know why he bothers—I barely know the guy. Anyone else would have just shrugged at the odd behavior and brushed it aside. But no, he _has_ to be different... He wouldn't be _Rin_ if he weren't.

And that difference has apparently had a big impact on me.

I frown, uncomfortable with the direction my thoughts are going and look to my surroundings for a change of subject. The sky is almost the same as it was two weeks ago, when Rin and I...

I groan at my inability to _stop thinking about him... and his blue eyes and his—_ Agh! I use my hands to push myself into a sitting position, and then I jump back up to my feet. I lean back on the fence of the balcony and stare at the ground moodily. Sighing in resignation, I finally decide to ponder these new _feelings_. I scrunch my face up in distaste at the thought.

So I like Rin Okumura—I know that. I've known for a while. It's hard _not_ to like the guy. He's charismatic and friendly and caring and good-looking and his voice is _amazing_. He's got a kick-ass bedroom and listens to John Mayer. He owns an obscure Pacman game. He makes fucking orgasmic tacos. He actually has CD's—Loads of them. He can read my emotions pretty damn accurately. And he didn't even say anything when I fucking _cried_ in front of him. Yeah, he's an awesome guy, so the fact that I like him is not surprising.

But that 'like', it goes further. Deeper than it should. I like him as more than an acquaintance or friend or classmate—I'm attracted to him, to his body. And it doesn't make any _sense_ because I like _women_... Right? I don't even know anymore. It's just... I've read about these things, heard from the girls I've seduced and charmed. When you feel that way towards someone, your heart speeds up and your skin tingles and your stomach squirms pleasantly as if a million butterflies were fluttering about inside it... I'd pushed these things aside. They weren't anything important, I'd tell myself. But now, now that they've been brought to my attention, forcibly placed in the forefront of my mind, I _have_ to think about it, consider it. And it adds up, all of it.

But I don't understand _why_. I'm not _gay_. Or... or I didn't think I was. Luckily, I've grown up in a house that doesn't give a fuck either way, doesn't have a stupid prejudice towards sexual preferences and such—Well, they just don't _care_. And _I_ certainly don't judge others based on their sexuality—It's a pretty stupid thing to do. I mean, how on earth does that allow you to know what kind of person they are? Right, it doesn't. But I never thought, never dreamed it'd be _me_. I've never looked at other guys and thought 'I'mma tap that!' or anything.

The fact that this is the first time, it well, it flabbergasts me. I'm not going to deny it if this—whatever _this_ is—is real. People seem to be leaning towards and supporting our non-existent relationship rather fervently right now—I doubt they'd change their minds if we were to actually confirm it.

However, that still leaves another rather worrying problem—Rin. Who _knows_ what he'll think when—if—he finds out. The very likely possibility of his lashing out at me or breaking off our newly formed friendship is almost enough to make me forget all of this and pretend as if nothing happened, as if he doesn't have this effect on me. I've always been the type of person to confront my problems, though—My family is a different matter entirely—and I get rather antsy if I keep things such as this to myself. Rin is a nice guy, and I'm sure that the best case scenario out of all of this would be him politely turning me down and allowing me to continue being his friend. ( _Actually,_ I think to myself, _the best possible thing to happen would be that he'd reciprocate it._ The thought is not even fully acknowledged, however, before I move on with my worrying.) I look to the sky once again and mutter about life not being fair because, honestly, why the hell did bad things have to continually happen to me?

"Shima?" Hearing my name called out so suddenly in the comfortable silence I'd been a part of and gotten used to startled me so much that I almost fell over the railing, something I'd rather not experience, if that's okay with the big guy upstairs—He's been having a hell of a time fucking with me so far, after all. Wouldn't want to give him any ideas. ( _It would've solved all of my problems, though,_ I think rather morbidly for a moment.) "Oh, sorry!" The familiar voice apologizes in a half-yell.

Forget my pulse rate, I'm starting to associate pain to this kid—I happen to hurt myself in some way whenever I'm around the guy. "It's fine!" I call back, also raising my voice. "What are you doing here?" I get another feeling of Déjà vu, but this time is different. _Then_ , we were at school, and he'd had a perfectly good reason. Now, though...

His smile at my misfortune morphs into a concerned frown. "You were acting weird when we chatted, and then you stopped answering your phone and replying to my messages," He announces, making me feel more and more like a dick because I had pretty much blown the guy off and ignored him afterward. "Did I do something?" He asks, looking utterly confused and adorable at the same time—Something only he is able to do without seeming constipated. "Because if I-"

"No, no, it wasn't you," I interrupt and hastily correct his ridiculous assumptions—I mean, really, it kind of was his fault, but it wasn't _intentional_. "I'd had to leave and help my mom with some chores," I lie easily. Even if I have admitted a few things to myself, that doesn't mean I'm ready to go shouting them out to the world, least of all Rin. "And as for the phone, the battery died, and I left the charger at Bon's—I'm much too lazy to actually walk over to his place to get it." I really _did_ leave a charger at Bon's place, but it isn't the only one I have. So it's partly true.

Rin chews this over for a moment, and then he smiles up at me—(and I'm now fully aware of just how _much_ that grin of his effects me)—and says, "Okay." I sigh in relief, glad of the distance between us as it would surely hide the action. We stand there in silence a moment, just staring at one another—Actually, he's staring at me while I glance at anything but him—until he asks, "Can I come in?"

I hesitate a moment—I'm not really used to having any company over. Bon and Konekomaru are the only people that I've allowed to set foot in my house, and the fact didn't—and doesn't—bother me. Should my parents actually be home for once, they'd be inclined to act as proper parents, and the sight of it sickens me. It's the reason Bon's place is my true home, why I spend most of my time there. His mother worries and advises and encourages me. His dad discusses the ladies with me and plays sports with us—One of my fondest memories is when the three of us were little kids, probably only nine or ten years old and Bon's dad joined in our basketball game. He put me on his shoulders, handed me the ball, and went over to the basket, allowing me to drop it right in and seal the game with my team as the victors. His mom made us fresh lemonade and congratulated me on a job well done. Even now, I can't help but smile when I think about it.

However, thankfully, my entire family is out for the day and shouldn't be returning any time soon, so I shout back, "Yeah, hold on. I'll let you in!" I step back into my room, remembering to lock the sliding-glass door, hurry down the stairs and to the front door. As I unlock and open it, I'm met with the striking image of the object of my affections. (I outwardly cough, not having expected I'd ever think such a thing.) He steps past me, taking in my home. I hastily close the door, lock it again, and turn around.

"I like your house," He tells me after poking around a bit more, "but I don't." I furrow my brows in puzzlement—Seriously? What the hell is that supposed to mean? Noticing my confusion, he elaborates, "It's nice-looking, but it doesn't..." And he glances about the room once more. "It doesn't _feel_ like it's being lived in, like a home."

I clam up at the accusation, though I'm not sure why. I _know_ it's not home-y or welcoming—How _could_ it be with _us_ as its inhabitants? But still, hearing it said aloud by _him_ stings. "Well, sor _ry,_ " I begin, feeling defensive. "Not everyone's house can be as _warm_ as yours." I abruptly about-face and head toward the stairs. _This_ is why I didn't want him here, in my house—It's completely alien to him as his was to me.

I can hear footsteps behind me as I march upstairs. "I didn't mean to offend you, Shima," Rin states sincerely. "I really do like your house."

"I know," I sigh, opening the door of my bedroom as I did so. He follows me in, and we both sit on my bed. "Besides Bon and Konekomaru, you're the only person I've ever invited inside, you know," I attempt to explain without really saying anything.

"Why?" He asks, though he now seems happy.

I shrug and answer, "I don't like staying here..." He obviously does not understand, so I continue, "As I'm sure you've noticed, my family are never here, and I'd rather not stay in an empty house—I'm usually at Bon's." Hearing this, too, even from my own mouth causes my chest to ache.

"But I don't understand..." At my prodding, he says, "I don't understand why they—Well, why they leave you by yourself. You have a big family, don't you?" And I can tell his concern in genuine, that he's not saying these things to cause me pain, so instead of getting angry, I reply calmly.

"That's just how they are, how they've always been—It doesn't bother me anymore," I assure him. "I'm used to it, and Bon's parents take good care of me, so..." I shrug once more.

"But it shouldn't-" He begins again, trying to make a point. I interrupt him, though, because anything he has to say on the matter will probably just be the same thing I've known or figured out by watching, observing others. Things shouldn't be this way. It's not right. My family is neglectful. Et cetera, et cetera, et cetera... There's no point in worrying about it, now, not after all these years.

"It's fine," I say in a resolute one, letting him know that that particular discussion was over. "Want to play Wii Bowling?—I'm pretty awesome at it."

He stares at me for a moment, as if he were considering something. Then, he says, "Yeah? Well, I'm pretty good at it myself." _Even his smirk is sexy_ , I find myself thinking, and my face heats up.

I attempt to brush over it by saying, "Yeah, we'll see." My voice cracked a bit while speaking, so I quickly turn away from him and begin hooking up my Wii(3).

Unbeknownst to me, my companion's smirk grew at my embarrassment, and there was a gleam of something like triumph in his blue eyes.

* * *

It's been three days since Rin's unexpected arrival at my abode, and I'm no closer to sorting out my feelings. My 'so-called' friends are not helping matters. And to make it worse, Bon told _his parents_ about the rumors going on at school about Rin and I. Had I known this information, I wouldn't have gone.

**-FLASHBACK-**

As soon as I stepped inside, his mom greeted me and led me to the living room where his dad was already waiting and gestured for me to sit on the couch opposite him. She took the seat on his side, and they both looked to me. I gulped.

His mom began the conversation with, "Renzo, honey, you know that you can tell us anything, right?" Dumbfounded, I nodded—Of course I knew that. She continued, "You know that we would never judge you, right, sweetie?" Again, I nodded. _Where is she going with this?_ I wondered.

Then, his dad chimed in with, "You're sure?"

I nodded a third time and added, "Yes sir, I think of you guys as my other parents." This was definitely true—I've always felt that way.

They beamed at me, and Mr. Suguru said, "We also think of you as another son, Renzo." His wife nodded fervently in agreement.

I smiled, feeling lighter at knowing for sure. It faltered, however, when they shared a look.

Mrs. Suguro began again, "Ryuji has informed us of your relationship with a young man named, Rin, I believe." This one sentence caused my entire body to react. However, she still went on. "We have no qualms with it, of course, but..." And she trailed off, and my stomach clenched. _What was with that 'but'? Is she going to disown me? Is she disgusted? Is she-_

"We were wondering why you didn't tell us yourself," Mr. Suguro finished for her, and my jaw dropped. What?

"We thought that maybe you didn't think we'd take it well..." She added, seeming concerned about my reaction.

"Ah, wait—No! You've got it all wrong!" I hastily explained, feeling guilty about not doing so before. But really, what was there to explain? Nothing was happening between Rin and I. "I'm _not_ dating Rin—Those are _rumors_! Didn't Bon tell you?"

They share another look, this time with matching frowns. "Honey, you don't need to keep it from us. We really don't mind."

I could have pulled my hair out in frustration. I loved these two dearly, but they weren't getting my point. "No, I'm not denying it because I think you'll disapprove—I'm honestly not in a relationship with anyone!"

Mr. Suguro was still frowning as he said, "If you're not in a relationship with this boy, what is he to you?"

The question had caught me off guard, so I blinked stupidly for a moment before answering, "That's a good question..." How am I supposed to answer that? He's—Well, he's my friend, but that's not what I _want_ him to be, so I'm not exactly sure of my answer. "I don't know."

"Well, do you have feelings for him?" Mrs. Suguro pressed.

"I don't know."

"Is he just a friend?" It was her husband this time.

"I-I-I think I... like him... _that way_..." I finally mustered up the courage to say. The weight on my chest was suddenly lifted a little, and I felt a lot better.

They shared another look but with a smile, and my 'mom' asked, "Does he feel the same way?"

And the weight was heavier and bearing down on me once again. "Ah... I don't know. I haven't actually told him yet..." Something I'm not planning to do any time soon.

And with that (and possibly the downtrodden expression on my face), they understood without my needing to say anything more. They moved from their couch to mine and sat on either side of me. My 'dad' gripped my shoulder sympathetically, and my 'mom' pulled me into her arms and rubbed my back soothingly. Their comfort, more than anything could have done, convinced me that no matter what became of my whatever-it-is with Rin, I'd be okay(4).

**-END FLASHBACK-**

I'm not as close to Konekomaru's parents as I am to Bon's, but I still want to avoid telling them as I'm sure they'll force me into another one of these awkward conversations, only it would be much more formal. I shudder at the thought of it. After sending a very affectionate, brotherly text message to Bon, I grab my iPod, put my earphones in, and play "Good Love is on The Way" by John Mayer.

* * *

**EXTRA SCENE:**

After winning and losing at Wii Bowling alternatively every game, we decided to play something else. We endep up choosing Epic Mickey—a game I'm rather fond of. I mean, who _couldn't_ love a cute little mouse like Mickey?

Anyway, Rin had never played, and as it is a single player game, I sat beside him, guiding and instructing him on what to do and where to go. It works as well as back-seat driving—Which is not well at all.

"I'm doing it just like you said!" Rin claimed, miffed at having died quite a few times already doing this one task.

"No, you're using the paint thinner when you should be using the paint!" I can get rather aggressive when playing games, I admit, but if he'd just _listen_...

"If you'd _show_ me-" He started to say, but he cut himself off as I got right behind him and grabbed both of his arms. "W-what are you doing?"

I tutted impatiently. "I'm showing you. Look, _this_ is used for the paint." I waved the arm that held the paint controller up and down. "And _this_ is used for the paint thinner." I then waved the other arm. "Understand?"

"Uh..." He trailed off.

"Well?"

I could feel rather than hear him swallow nervously—Wonder why... "...I think you'd better show me... ah... in the game..."

I rolled my eyes at his inability to grasp the simple concept and replied, "Yeah, okay." And I exited the Wii Menu and began playing, moving his thumb on the toggle stick and using his fingers to press the buttons.

We played like that for almost twenty minutes before I realized the position we were in—I was almost encasing him completely in a full body hug. I quickly backed away, muttered "I'm sure you've got it by now... I'm going to get us drinks" and hurried out of the room.

My body was still very hot with the combination of his and my body's warmth—Blood flowed to my cheeks at the implications of such a thought.

* * *

**EXTRA SCENE TWO:**

Bon had been having an extraordinary day. He had gotten back the results of his extracurricular courses he had taken over the summer, and he had passed every one of them with the highest marks possible—His teacher had even told him in secret that he'd actually made higher but that the system only allowed teachers to put in so high a number and that his had gone over.

Earlier that day, he'd been talking with Shima and Konekomaru when a group of Shima's former acquaintances—Girls he'd had sexual intercourse with—marched to their table with a banner reading 'The RenxRin Fan Club!' and asked Shima if he and Rin Okumura would give a speech at their annual meeting next Thursday. Of course, Shima blew his top, threatening to shove that banner in certain places in which such a thing should never be shoved, and the girls, not the least perturbed, giggled, said they 'Understood' and skipped off. And Bon, not one to miss an opportunity, ruthlessly teased his pink-haired friend afterward.

Then, at lunch, he'd had the privilege of eating his mother's home-made tacos—a treat his mother would only make and have Bon to bring to school and share with Shima and Konekomaru because she knew how much they loved them. They were exquisite, as always, and they'd continued his good fortune streak, leaving him feeling rather content with life.

That streak, however, was almost instantly shattered as Bon came upon a horrible sight—Izumo, his beloved Izumo, was sucking face with some other student from True Cross Academy. Rather than stand there and get caught by the two, unlikely though as it was, he hurriedly moved along to the next floor and went to the closest bathroom.

He ran to the stall nearest the door and threw up all of his mother's special tacos, not even stopping to close the stall door. After emptying the contents of his stomach, he slid to the floor, still gripping the toilet, staring into space.

Ten minutes later, he picked himself up, washed up at the sink, ridding himself of the terrible taste in his mouth and the germs that were surely crawling all over him now, and tried to make himself look presentable once more. Then, he stepped out into the hall again, pretending he hadn't just broken down and that everything was going to be alright.(5)

That night, he invited Konekomaru and Shima over to his house to play video games and such. It would be sure to make him feel better.

The next day, after his mother had sent the other two boys home, Bon had decided to go walking around town. It was better than sitting at home, something he could only picture someone like Shima doing. As he was walking, he bumped into Paku, Izumo's best friend, and chatted with her for a bit, all the while hoping Izumo wouldn't show.

As he thought this, a strong, feminine voice called out, "Paku!" They both turned to see a girl with noticeable eyebrows running towards them. Bon would have smiled, but a familiar face accompanied the girl of his dreams in her running, and he couldn't bring himself to do it. When they reached Bon and Paku, she looked to Bon and uttered an "Oh, it's you... Hey" and then turned to Paku to explain her tardiness.

They were holding hands, Bon noticed, and his heart panged. He wouldn't have minded, it wouldn't have been so bad, this meeting, had the two not began making out right in front of him. Resisting the bile rising in the back of his throat, he looked away. Just then, his phone rang, and he opened it—He'd just gotten an idea. Disregarding the fact that it was a message from Shima, he pressed a button and brought it to his ear and said, "Hello, what is it?"

"Wha-Now?" He continued acting as if he were speaking to someone. "Okay, I'll be there soon." He snapped it shut and turned to Paku—the other two were busy—and explained, "Sorry, I have to leave. It was nice chatting with you."

Paku nodded, a knowing look in her eyes Bon didn't like, and replied, "It was fun. Bye, Bon."

Bon nodded and jogged up the street back toward his house. He slowed to a walk when he was out of sight. A few minutes into his walk, his curiosity got the better of him, and he pulled out his phone again to check his friend's message. After reading, he laughed loudly and joyfully, actually feeling better about his predicament. Shima was too much, sometimes, he thought with another bout of laughing.

The message read: _You're a dick D:_

* * *


	6. Rin's Snippets: Not So Simple

Rin Okumura liked to think of himself as a simple man.

He liked simple things, simple emotions, and simple people.

He usually avoided anything even remotely complicated because that's just who he was.

He liked music—Music was simple. It consisted of instruments and words and created a beautiful sound when fused correctly. It expressed the emotions it was meant to clearly, and it got his blood pumping or cooling down, depending on just what he was listening to. He even enjoyed singing along to music—John Mayer's sultry tones usually going unheard as he belted out loudly, as was his nature. And though his twin would beg to differ, he'd been complimented on his singing multiple times, others even going so far as to say he'd be able to make a career out of it. But the simplicity of his actions, of his 'talent', would forever be tarnished by others, surely, so he only ever laughed at the silly suggestion and changed the subject.

He liked vintage video games—you know, the classics, often known as the games that have so many sequels and remakes that no one knows exactly _what_ came first, except for those, such as himself, that bothered to find out. Pacman and Tetris were a few of his favorites, and both were games that had simple instructions and simple game play—And yet, both of them were also games that often took hours and hours of dedication to get anywhere—They were frustratingly simple. He liked these the best as no one could make them complicated, not in his eyes, anyway, he thought as he screwed his face up in distaste at the newest downgraded classics that were on shelves once more with 'NEW & IMPROVED' controls, plot, and quality—Yeah, right.

He liked cooking. Easy to follow recipes and rewarding end results—What _wasn't_ there to like about it? Of course, others had often informed him that not everyone _could_ cook, especially not as well as he, and that he had a God-given gift because he'd always gotten everything right on the first try, without ever burning anything. But _eh_ , thinking about such things was _not_ simple, so he returned to his original train of thought.

He liked his friends, his fellow classmates, his teachers—They were so predictable and easy to read that they were simple, too. All of the social niches and cliques were present at his wonderful academy, and he was friends with people in all of them. The social protocol to never stray from within the boundaries of one's own group had never applied to him—He'd never actually joined one. He just floated from one to the other, talking, socializing because not doing so would have been boring.

He was a friendly enough guy, never going out of his way to harm or offend others, making friends left and right. However, when the wrong button was pushed, Rin had no qualms with beating the unfortunate soul senseless. Because emotions were also simple. He knew immediately when he was angry, happy, sad, or pissed. And he acted on these emotions, without thinking, because being brash was hard-wired into his personality—It was something he couldn't control, even if he wanted to.

But then, he met Renzo Shima, and suddenly, things weren't so simple anymore.


	7. And Life Lessons and Decent Advice

I've been thinking quite a lot...

About a certain... someone...

And it's driving me up the wall, honestly.

Finding out that I 'played for the other team' was difficult enough to accept, you know? At least, I think so. But then, I had to go and— _Oh, fuck—_ 'crush' on _him_ , and it's really only made things worse. Before, when I had these weird urges—You know, to run my hands through his black hair, or cup his cheeks, or— _fuck—_ kiss him—I didn't exactly know _what_ they were or _what_ to do, and so I never paid much attention to them. Now, though, every time I see him at school, at my house or his, or anywhere, really, I notice them, and... And I notice _other_ things, too.

Like the fact that his eyes are not only breathtakingly blue but that they're surrounded, almost gracefully, by these medium-length eyelashes—Not too long to the point that they're creepy and porcelain doll-like, but not too short to where I'm not really sure if he even _has_ them—and they suit him perfectly. (It's also kind of creepy that I know this because it means I must spend an alarming amount of time staring at his eyes, but it's not intentional... So it's okay, right?)

And he chews on his lip, subconsciously, I assume, when he's concentrating, and it reminds me of a little kid—which _isn't_ sexy, but this guy is at the legal age for consensual sexual intercourse, and I'll be damned if I can't find a quirk like that sexy. His lip isn't even gross or bleeding from all that biting, though I'd love to have _my_ teeth— _It would not be a good idea to get worked up right now_ , I berate myself.

He also has pointy ears—They almost resemble those of an elf, I muse—and no one knows about them, not because he's embarrassed by them but because his black locks of hair fall over the tips and hide them away. I wouldn't even know about them had I not spent so much time around the guy—I mean, things like that were going to come out eventually. Anyway, he used a hair clip to move his bangs out of his eyes so that he could properly view his worksheet, and there they were, laid bare for all to see—Well, not really. It was just us two inside his room, working on problems and failing at solving them. But still. I'd gasped in surprise and rudely pointed at them and asked something like 'what the fuck' was 'going on with' his 'ears?' Luckily, he knew me and could tell it wasn't meant to offend, and he's not the type of guy to get offended by such a thing, anyway. He just laughed at my shock and explained. (Needless to say, I definitely do not mind his pointy ears—They're rather attractive, in my opinion. Whether or not that's normal with bisexuals such as myself remains to be seen.)

Staring at this boy seems to have become a hobby of mine, I think rather worriedly as I quickly avert my eyes from said boy and—attempt to—tune back into to our lesson. Needless to say, I fail miserably, much to the amusement of Konekomaru and Bon, the only ones that seemed to notice. After glaring at each of them in turn, I determinedly look down at my paper and resolve to stop this foolishness because, really, my friends are assholes, and I'm not going to give them any more entertainment at my own expense. My body, however, decides to rebel, and I find myself glancing his way, anyway. My 'friends'—Seriously, can they even still be considered such at this point?—unsuccessfully stifle their laughter and attract the attention of Waka-sensei, which is never a good thing, as far as I'm concerned.

"I'm sorry," She begins though none of us fool ourselves into thinking she's actually apologetic. "It seems as if my lesson is interrupting your conversation—Would you like me to wait until you've finished?" Her cold gaze sweeps over the three of us—Though, I don't even see how she can pin this on me. I wasn't even doing anything! She waits a moment, obviously giving us time to provide her with an acceptable excuse—Well, any excuse, really. Regardless of what we tell her, she's going to punish us, anyway. I'm barely able to restrain myself from rolling my eyes, while Konekomaru seems to be floundering for a response, not used to being reprimanded, and Bon seems to be resigned to his fate—Probably thinking he deserves whatever she decides to doll out to us because we were misbehaving. Once again I begin to question my choice of friends.

Realizing none of us were going to plead our cases, Waka-sensei smiled, always happy to chastise students. "Well then, seeing as you three have failed to provide a plausible excuse, I'll have to give out some form of punishment." She looks at me pointedly. "Suguro-kun and Miwa-kun have not had the need to be disciplined previously, therefore, they will only receive a warning." They both sigh in relief, and I can't help but think that Wakahisa-sensei has it out for me. "Shima-kun, however, has caused many a disturbance in my classroom, so I'd think two detentions would be fair." The stern mask she'd put up for her little speech cracked momentarily to reveal a wicked smirk aimed at me. Holding back the obligatory ' _Fuck you!_ ', I scowl and cross my arms, turning away from the bit—er, woman.

Bon and Konekomaru remained quiet throughout the whole exchange and worked in silence the rest of the class period, most likely feeling guilty about having been let off so easily. I was proven right because as soon as we passed the door frame of her classroom, they apologized. I waved them off—I mean, it wasn't their fault. For some reason, our teacher has something against me. They nodded their appreciation, and though I meant what I said, I had the sudden thought that _I_ was definitely a good, understanding friend and that maybe I'd need to teach them a thing or two. Smiling at the image of myself teaching Konekomaru and Bon _anything_ , I walked along with them to our next class.

* * *

 _I've never been more embarrassed in my entire seventeen years of living on this planet_ , I muse to myself as I browse the magazine wrack in the front of the store—Like, seriously? What the fuck is up with that?—searching for titles such as 'Seventeen' and 'J-14' and even 'Popstar!'(1) and feeling particularly warm as the women that happen to pass by shoot me strange looks. Usually, I'd never be caught dead with said magazines or even in this particular section of the store, for that matter. But all the girls are always going on about getting advice from them, and well, I need advice. The type I require can only be obtained from such dreadful material, so I have to suck in that bit of manly pride I still have left—Most of it was lost when I found out I fancied another man—and use these resources. I quickly collect as many as I can carry and hurry to an open check-out station.

A pubescent teenager, who was most likely around my age or younger, was at said station, face full of acne and mouth full of metal. He had shaggy black hair and wore all black clothing, something that I always found unsettling. I mean, who knew what all that black was hiding? I shudder internally and throw my stuff carelessly onto the conveyor belt. He begins to wipe my magazines over the price scanner thingy, but not before taking the time to send me an annoyed glance—Probably because I needn't have thrown them down at the very back of the belt, but I always found myself doing so as I liked to watch it move—Hey, it's pretty cool, if you think about it. Anyway, we stand in silence save for the beep of the scanner and the hustle and bustle of the other shoppers while the boy scans my things. I _could_ chat with him, and I _would_ if he weren't glaring at me after scanning each item. Unperturbed, I stick my hands into my pants' pockets and roll back and forth on the balls of my feet.

Suddenly, I hear a voice much too close for comfort, and I jump in surprise. I turn, expecting to find a creepy man in a trench coat with a briefcase full of organs. Instead, I find a little old lady smiling up at me. "Um...what was that?" I pause a moment, then I add, "M'am?" It's the respectful thing to do, after all.

Not looking the least bit deterred, the lady repeats, "Have you found a special someone, young man?" And my nervous gulp morphs into a few raucous coughs. She giggles sweetly, exactly the way you'd expect a petite woman such as herself to giggle and smiles slyly. "Ah, I see..."

Alarmed, I hastily explain, "No! No, I'm not—I haven't—You've got the wrong—uh..." I trail off uncertainly (and lamely, I add, rather unhelpfully.)

"Now, now," She begins, wagging her finger in admonishment, "there's no need for such tomfoolery—A lady _always_ knows." I stare at her for a moment—She seems the type to babysit neighborhood children and read stories and bake cookies, as if she were the epitome of an adoring grandmother. Recognizing her good intentions, I simply nod. She smiles. "That's good. You should never deny such things, young man. Not to yourself and _never_ to your loved ones." Once again, I nod, briefly wondering if I even needed these magazines when I had her freely given words of wisdom.

I'm startled once again by a grunt from the aggravated cashier and reluctantly face him. It turns out I needed to pay him. _Well._ I reach for my wallet to pull out a few crisp ten dollar bills, wondering if maybe I shouldn't have gotten so many of them and pay the boy. He shoves the receipt at me, muttering a very dull 'Thanks! Come again!'. I'm like, "Right" because I have no intention of coming back to this store, and even if I do, I won't be coming to this guy.

Remembering the old lady, I turn to her only to find out that she'd gone. Scratching my head as I stare at the spot she'd just stood in and questioning my sanity, I shrug, grab the wimpy-looking plastic bag, and head out of the automatic doors.

* * *

Okay, so according to the 'dating geniuses' in all of these different magazine articles—which are pretty much exactly alike, I think to myself, mourning the loss of my precious Alexander Hamiltons—I shouldn't reveal too much skin, I should wait for him to make the first move, the first thing he'll notice is my 'hot body', not my sexy eyes, and that I shouldn't talk too much about myself, or I'll come off as narcissistic.

 _Well, fuck—What am I supposed_ do _if I can't dress skankily and talk only about myself?_ I ponder sarcastically, seriously regretting buying these stupid things. I come upon an interesting article titled 'How to Turn Him On' and after reading a few of the headings and skimming the paragraphs underneath, my face turns beet-red, and I toss the magazine to the other side of the room. Waiting for my head to stop spinning and my heart to slow down, I clutch my chest and sit cross-legged on the floor.

Such a reaction may have been a bit much, considering all the things I've done with women in bed (and out of it) and all. But again, the thought of doing such things with _him_ is still fresh, and I am in no positio—er, place to attempt them with him, even in my mind. The headings flash in my head without my permission, and I see: _Tie Him Up, Rev Him Up For Round 2, Let Him Climb on Top, Play Rough, Sneak Up Behind Him, Let Him Be The Animal, Break Out The Blindfold,_ and even _Find His G-Spot_.

Maybe this wasn't such a good idea, after all.

* * *

Feeling lost and maybe a bit peeved, I call up Bon and ask to come over—He gives me his normal response to this question, which is "Of course you can, you idiot. You practically live here, anyway." His affectionate, sickeningly sweet reply— _Not_ -cheers me up a bit, and I end the call with a laugh and a small smile. I don't bother to call Konekomaru as I'm sure he's on his way over, too, if not already there. We both had some weird sort of sense, always knowing when to go to Bon's, which may have developed from our close bonds—We did everything together because that's just how it happened and how we wanted it.

There were some exceptions, of course, as there are to most everything. Those two like to do well academically, and I don't give a damn. I like—or liked, or maybe I still do but not as much any more, I supply helpfully—women and sex and—insert uncontrollable pink tinged cheeks—Rin Okumura. Bon and Konekomaru have less interest (or none in the last one) in these things and prefer it that way. (Well, Bon has a school girl crush on a manly woman, I muse, thinking of his infatuation with Eyebrows and wondering just when he was going to confess to her.) Anyway, we love being around one another, and at this point, we're pretty much inseparable. Even this 'thing' with Rin isn't enough to harm our friendship because Bon and Konekomaru aren't the type to let such a thing come between us—Neither am I, for the record.

I haven't actually discussed anything with them—yet. I'm sure they've already guessed as much, but I'd still like to get _their_ advice, which is sure to be much more useful than the rags I wasted my hard-earned cash on. (And by 'hard-earned', I mean, the amount of time and effort it took to convince Konekomaru to lend me any.) I'm planning on bringing it up tonight. The longer I keep it to myself, the more frustrated I become—which is never a good thing as I tend to fuck the first woman I see to 'vent' in some way. And lately, it's not such an amusing or even arousing thing to think of—That's how bad I've gotten. Merely sighing at how far I've fallen, I finally come upon my best friend's house and hurriedly make my way to the front door.

Bon's face is the first thing I see as the white oak door opens, and I notice that it is set in his default expression—an annoyed scowl. I roll my eyes at this and invite myself in. "Hey," I say, though it's rather unnecessary. He echoes me and heads for the living room, calling out, "Shima's home!" I find myself smiling at this every time—I doubt it will ever become unpleasant. When we reach the living room, I immediately spot Konekomaru sitting comfortably on one of the arm chairs and take it upon myself to plop unceremoniously on the loveseat to his left and lie sprawled out, limbs dangling from all sides. Bon snorts at my childish nature and takes his own usual seat in the recliner to left of me.

Bon's mom pops up and greets me, "Why, good afternoon, Renzo, sweetie!" She comes over to me and places a motherly kiss atop my forehead, something I revel in because I love Mrs. Suguro like a mother. "How was your day? Are you hungry? Thirsty?" Before I can answer, she continues, "Oh, who am I kidding? Of course you are! You're just skin and bones! Wait a moment—I'll be right back with snacks for you boys!" And with that last comment, she was off, obviously making something for the three of us. I smile affectionately, far too used to her behavior to react any differently. Bon rolls his eyes, exasperated with his mother and her 'mother-henning', as he often puts it. Konekomaru smiles, albeit nervously as he was never quite able to adjust to Mrs. Suguro's fretting over him—His parents are very strict and more worried about his studies than the small possibility of their only son being slightly hungry at four in the afternoon. That's not to say that they don't love and care for him—It's just that Mrs. Suguro goes to extreme lengths to express her love(2).

A few minutes later, she comes back into the room with three glasses of lemonade and grilled cheese sandwiches, leading me to believe that she'd probably been preparing this stuff before my arrival, and another cheesy smile lights up my face. "Thanks, Mrs. Suguro!" I thank her for her kindness, and she smiles warmly at me.

"You know that you call me 'Mom', honey," She says with all seriousness, stern expression now in place.

I nod and correct myself. "Thanks, Mom..." And my cheeks warm considerably as I mumble out the last word. She hears it, anyway, and smiles at me once again.

"You're very welcome, sweetie." She then moves her gaze to address the others. "The same goes for you, Konekomaru, dear!" He nods, still looking a tad uncomfortable but happy nonetheless. "Call on me if you need anything, boys," She reminds us before skipping off to do whatever it was she was doing before I arrived, I assume. How am _I_ supposed to know what real mothers do in their free time? As I reach for my glass on the coffee table, I hear Mrs. Su—er, my 'mother's voice floating from wherever she'd run off to: "You'd better eat all of your sandwich, Renzo! You're too skinny as it is!"

And even as Bon and Konekomaru chuckle at my supposed embarrassment, I find myself wistfully thinking of what I would have given to have had this house as my childhood home.

* * *

After having been fed enough to satisfy both my stomach and Mrs. Suguro, the other two and I traipsed upstairs and into Bon's bedroom.

The Suguros' house was about as large as mine in size, but the inside of it was completely different. I mean, they had five bedrooms like us, though two rooms were permanently reserved for Konekomaru and I, leaving one bedroom for guests, which was located farthest down the hall, but they were much more welcoming and warm than any room I'd ever slept in at my own home. We never actually used our rooms, both of us preferring to crash in Bon's room more often than not, but we still kept some of our things there, nonetheless. I had almost half my wardrobe in the closet, and the bed displayed my favorite comforter and sheets—Duck themed ones my 'mom' had bought for me a couple of years ago.

Konekomaru's room was actually tidy—(Mine was, too, because Mrs. Suguro cleaned it, but if I'd actually tended to it...)—and it sported a horizontally striped bedspread, the colors of blue and green flashing brightly. He had less clothes there than I, but that's just because he didn't mind returning home. Posters of Albert Einstein and Robert Hooke hung awkwardly on the crème colored wall.

Bon's room was a mirror opposite of ours as our rooms were on the opposite side of the hall. They were laid out in a sort of zigzag pattern—with my room being first, then Bon's, and then Konekomaru's.

His walls were covered with pictures of the three of us and his family, too, throughout the years. It was very efficiently organized. He had a bookshelf similar to Rin's, but his was a darker shade and filled to the brim with large and complicated books that would cause me to die of boredom should I ever attempt to read them, whereas Rin's shelved various manga. Posters of heavy metal bands were displayed on another wall next to his desk, which was a very magnificent and elegant little thing. It was made of mahogany wood with a dark finish, and it looked exactly like the kind of thing you'd find in a college professor's study, not a teenage boy with a Mohawk-type hair-do's bedroom(3).

A few neon-colored bean bag chairs sit in the corner of his room, a spot specifically placed for us. It was the only thing that seemed out of place, and I loved it. His closet was to the right of us, and though I've never actually been inside it, I suspect it holds some sort of shrine dedicated to her highness, Empress Eyebrows. I've asked Bon about it, once, and he glared at me, but he didn't really deny it. I'm not exactly sure if I want to know, to be honest.

I amused myself with these thoughts as we settled ourselves and then resolved to get the business I had originally decided to tend to over with. I began with, "Hey, guys..." You know, I can honestly say I wasn't expecting to sound so embarrassed from the start. Well, I've caught their attention, now, anyway. "Ah... I wanted to, uh, talk about, um..." I glance away towards the ceiling and pull at the collar of my T-shirt. _Is it getting hot in here? Or is it just me?_ I think worriedly.

Bon and Konekomaru exchange looks, seeming as if they'd been expecting me to talk to them. Konekomaru then says, "Yes, Shima?" _If you fucking know already, just say so!_ The expression on my face must be screaming this, surely, because Konekomaru gives me a look of his own clearly saying they weren't going to make it any easier for me. _Damn._

Huffing, I grit out, "I want your..." With another prodding motion from him, I continue, "I want your advice..."(4)

"There—That wasn't so hard, was it Shima?" _Yes, it fucking was_. He shares another look with Bon. "What kind of advice do you need?"

They really _aren't_ going to give me a break, are they? Rolling my eyes, I give vague information, all the while wondering why the Universe was so against me.

"So you want to date this guy?" Bon asks bluntly, catching me off guard. Having jumped slightly, I stare at him in horror. "Just be yourself. It's pretty obvious he's—" Whatever he was, was cut off by Konekomaru clapping a hand over his mouth. Bon glances to him, and he shakes his head.

 _Just be casual, Shima_ , I tell myself. _No need to be a spazz._ "W-what? It's obvious he's, what?" I blurt out immediately, mentally cursing my obvious eagerness. _Nicely done, old boy_. _That's exactly what I meant._

Bon snorts, and Konekomaru stifles a giggle. Konekomaru is the one to answer. "Why don't you just ask him yourself? I'm sure things will work out for the best. If even _Bon_ is able to put up with you, Rin won't have such a hard time, either." Bon merely rolls his eyes as Konekomaru continues, "That is, _if_ you feel that strongly for him. Do you?" He asks, though we all know the answer.

I didn't even think it was possible to blush all the way down to my fingertips, but my body's been known to throw curve balls. Not looking him directly in the eye, I nod my affirmation.


	8. Rin's Snippets: Complexities Aren't So Bad

Rin Okumura liked all things simple. Of this, he was certain.

Renzo Shima was anything but simple. He was also certain of this.

So how on earth had he developed feelings for the pink-haired playboy?

It started out simple, he swears. A simple, innocent attraction—that's all it was.

Shima was flirty and fun and flashy—It was hard not to notice the boy. He'd had sexual relations with more than half of the school, and yet he remained on friendly terms with all of them. There was just something about him that dissipated any dislike or ill will. It was exhilarating and exciting to watch the boy interact with others, whether it be passionately, playfully, or just childishly. Everyone felt close to Shima because he had a certain aura about him that made one feel like they'd known him for years. Teasing and mindless chatter came easily when Shima was the recipient.

Of course, only two others in the whole school actually _knew_ him, and they were Ryuji Suguro—usually just called 'Bon'—and Miwa Konekomaru. Together, the three made up True Cross Academy's precious Bro Trio, a nickname bestowed upon them by gossips, no doubt. The three were oblivious to this, though, as they'd surely strangle whomever was foolish enough to utter such things about them within earshot.

They'd been together as long as anyone could remember, and the sight of three of them huddled around one another was not an uncommon occurrence. No one bothered them or forced entry into the Trio's group, their own little world, because such a thing would be catastrophic. Disturbing the warm atmosphere they gave off wherever they went would have felt wrong and unnecessary. It was almost like a fairy tale, not to be tainted.

But then, ' _it_ ' happened—the conversation that changed everything.

Sure, Rin had his demons—Who didn't?—but he didn't dwell on them, preferring to live his life treasuring the simple things, not taking anything for granted. He was happy, honestly! Because everything was important and not to be looked down upon, Rin didn't pity himself—Surely, others had it far worse than he? But all of it, everything he'd tried so hard to let go, came tumbling back into his peaceful life, and he couldn't take it.

So he ran, and ran, and ran...

He found himself at an abandoned park—Most likely uninhabited because of the pouring rain, he mused. He sat himself on a bench, bending over his knees and covering his face with his hands, which were propped up by his elbows. How long he stayed there, he didn't know, until someone plopped down beside him. Startled, he raised his head to look at the newcomer. It was none other than the pink-haired man that had caught his eye not so long ago.

Shima was not looking at Rin but instead settling for staring at the gloomy, gray clouds above, rain drops splashing on his slightly tanned face. Then, he spoke, "Why?" And though that was only the word he said, Rin realized what he was asking: _"Why do you care so much?"_ Whether he was referring to Rin's concern for others or his concerns at the moment, he did not know. He answered him as best as he could.

"I know what it's like to be alone, to become something so insignificant to others that they won't even spare so much as a glance in my direction, to not be important enough to have one's full attention but not so invisible that I can fade into the background." Surprised, Shima looks to Rin, and he attempts to smile. "I don't want to ever make anyone else go through that... Everything has it's worth, and if all it takes is just a moment to appreciate that worth, I'd do it whenever possible. I mean," They make eye-contact, and honey-colored orbs urge Rin to continue. "It's the least I could do."

He didn't scoff, nor did his eyes fill with pity. He merely nodded and returned to staring at the sky. As water streaked down Shima's cheeks and neck, as a few rays of sunlight illuminated his dazzling features, as heat rushed to foreign places within _Rin's_ body, he came to a rather shocking realization: He liked Renzo Shima.

Feeling numb but giddy all the same, Rin remained on that rickety, old bench for seconds or minutes or hours, hell if he knew, until Shima got a text message from his overprotective friends—though they'd had a reason as it was storming and the boy had left them with no explanation of his whereabouts—and sheepishly suggested they leave for shelter lest they become ill.

Smiling, Rin thanked the boy, and they parted ways. That broken frustration he'd had before had disappeared only to be replaced by what he recognized as hope and anticipation.

Maybe things didn't _always_ have to be so simple...


	9. And the Grave Truth

"Hey, Rin! Yeah, I don't know how to say this, but... I want to fuck yo-Agh! No!" I cut myself off, slapping a hand to my face in frustration. "There's no way I'm ever going to say _that_ to _him_."

I've been pacing back and forth in my room for hours, trying to figure out just _what_ I'm going to say to Rin when I go over to his house. Last night, I decided I'd finally confess to him—and _God_ , does that make me sound like a teenage girl—but I haven't a clue as to what I'm going to tell him or how to word it in a way that's not creepy or weird.

Though, coming from a _male,_ supposedly _platonic_ friend that up until a month ago was fucking every _girl_ within sight, it's definitely going to be kind of odd.

Nevertheless, I can't keep bottling this up, all these emotions, or I'm going to explode. Or worse yet, I'll jump him, and that's not going to help my case at all, regardless of how enjoyable it would be.

"So... yeah... Rin, I might just like you... you know, in _that_ way... Ah, just kid-" I have a feeling that face-palming repeatedly is not good for my health, but I'm getting pissed off at my inability to say something so simple. Let's try this again:

"Rin, I kind of have a humongous crush on you, dude, so let's go make-out, like, right no-" I kick my bed post in my frustration, effectively stubbing at least three of my toes. I grab my left foot and hold the wounded toes while hopping around on my right foot. As if I wasn't having a bad enough time already, I lose my balance and fall to the ground unceremoniously, landing awkwardly on my back with my legs crossed.

Sighing in defeat, I drop my arms to my sides and uncross my legs, staring at the pale blue ceiling and wondering if it was really worth it. Maybe this is Fate's way of telling me that I should just give up, I ponder.

Suddenly, I hear the door to my room opening and crane my neck backwards in order to clearly view the person entering. The first things my eyes come upon are legs, the legs of a woman, and for a moment, I actually believe my mother has come to ask about my well-being, to _talk_ to me, and I smile stupidly, hurriedly scrambling off of the floor to face her properly. "Hey! I-"

What I see, however, causes my heart to constrict, and my voice dies in my throat. Instead of my mother, standing there and looking concerned as I imagined her, a maid, one of the ones hired by my father, is staring at me curiously. "Are you all alright, Shima-kun?"

Scowling darkly and not quite meeting her eyes, I grit out, "Just fine" before brushing past her and hurrying down the stairs and out of the front door.

After having run for a while, I stop, clutching my knees and panting.

When I finally catch my breath—I had no idea I was so out of shape to begin with—I clench my fists so hard that my knuckles turn white, cursing myself for believing, even for a second, that such a thing would happen. _Of course she wouldn't care_ , I think, snarling in a manner foreign to me but feeling quite natural at the moment, _she's only worried about her precious money and her job. What does it matter if her youngest son gets injured? 'He'll be fine, surely, because even if the injuries are fatal, hey, we've got insurance!'-that's probably exactly what she'd think_ , I laugh, sounding hollow and resentful even to my own ears.

After a few more minutes of walking around aimlessly and pitying myself, I find myself thinking of the one person I want to see more than anyone and resolve to go to him immediately. Surely, if anyone could make me feel better, it would be him. Glancing around me, I realize that, subconsciously, I was already heading towards his house and smile slightly. _Really, now..._

When I reach his house, I bring my hands to smack my cheeks lightly and then rub them vigorously. I can't show up at his house looking like a Gloomy Gilbert, after all(1). Putting on a huge smile that felt somewhat fake, I march towards his front door and knock.

For the second time that day, the person I expect to greet me is not the person that ends up doing so. In place of Rin, a studious, stern looking individual with similar features opens the door. "Yes? Can I help you?"

Having been pulled out of my stupor by his question, I nod and explain, "Ah, hello, I'm Shima. I was looking for-"

"Rin," He finishes for me, smiling. Once again, I nod. "He's told me quite a lot about you. I'm Yukio, his twin brother," He introduces himself and holds out his hand for me to shake. I do so, recalling dimly somewhere in the back of my mind that Rin had, in fact, mentioned his brother multiple times. I'd just never asked about him.

"Rin's not here right now, but I hope you'll come in, regardless. I'd like to speak with you," He more or less invites me inside, and so, feeling slightly worried about what Yukio could possibly have to say to me, I follow him in, the welcoming sense of their home engulfing me as soon as I step foot inside.

* * *

Yukio made tea for the both of us, and we sat down on the pillows on opposite sides of the table, silently sipping the warm liquid. Not being used to the Japanese tradition(2) as my father was only half Japanese—His father was American—and my mother simply didn't believe in such 'nonsense', I was uncomfortable sitting on my knees for prolonged periods of time, and the pillow-seat-thing didn't provide much comfort.

Doing my best to hide my discomfort, I asked, "Which one of you is older?" I was curious, okay? If I had to guess, I'd say Yukio because honestly, the guy seemed much more responsible and serious than his twin. However, knowing Rin as well as I do, I'm sure he's actually-

"My brother," he answers simply.

-the older one, I finish my train of thought, my lip twitching slightly in amusement. I nod, and the silence continues once more.

Setting his cup down, he addresses me, "Shima, what are your intentions with my brother?"

The abrupt bluntness of the question caught me off-guard as I was taking a sip of my tea, causing me to accidentally swallow, which has lead to a coughing fit. Trying in vain to calm myself, I gasp out, "What?"

Yukio is not at all fazed by my reaction and repeats himself, "What are your intentions with Rin?"

Slowly drinking more tea in order to halt my hacking, I regain my composure and reply, "I..." only to realize that I have no idea how to answer. Yukio says nothing, watching me as I mull over his inquiry.

Okay, so I like Rin—I know that. And I want to... I want to _do_ things with him. Not just... sexual things... but couple stuff, too. I want to hold his hand, I want to kiss his pale pink lips, I want to hug him tightly, I want to run my hands through his hair, I want to share a giant milkshake with him with two straws like they do in the movies, I want to watch shooting stars with him, I want to kiss him underneath a mistletoe at Christmas, I want to play the Pocky game with him and lose on purpose, I want to be the one he's with when he gets drunk for the first time, I want to introduce him to my second, _real_ family, I want to tell everyone else to 'back the fuck off, he's mine!', I want to sing John Mayer songs with him even though my voice sucks, I want to get my ass kicked in Pacman by him because he's such a geek about it, I want to take him to the pet store and point out that puppy that looks just like him, I want to make him blush by saying ridiculous, cheesy things to him, I want to be the one to take his virginity—oops, that _was_ sexual—I want to kiss him on New Year's at midnight, hell, I want to kiss all the time, and most of all, I want to confess to him and have him accept my feelings.

"I—I'm not sure..." I begin, blushing and knowing that I can't possibly tell his brother all of those things. "I want to be with him—I know that much." I bring my gaze away from my tea and meet his eyes. "I wouldn't ever hurt him, and I'm not in it for the sex—Lord knows I've had enough of _that_..." I mutter the last part to myself. "And... and... I don't know what else I can say to convince you..." I admit, almost sheepishly.

We maintain eye contact for a few more moments, though it seems much longer, and his 'serious business' expression is replaced by one of relief, and he smiles at me again. "I believe you."

Feeling quite relieved myself, I let out a breath I hadn't known I was holding and slouch, having gone rigid during the conversation. Speaking of Rin... "Where is he, anyway?" I inquire, wondering where he could be and if this conversation would have gone so smoothly if he hadn't gone.

Refilling his cup, he replies, "He's visiting Father." His expression seems a bit melancholic as he speaks.

"Oh, did they go to another Church conven—er... congregation?" I remembered Rin saying something about Yukio and his father going to one the first time I came to his house. It's almost crazy to think it's already been a month and a half since then, I muse. Noticing the lack of response from Yukio, I glance up at him. His arm is hovering in the air, still holding the kettle above his cup even though he'd stopped pouring, and he's staring at me in shock.

"What?"

My eyebrows furrowing in confusion, I echo him, "What?"

"Shima, Father is..." He interrupts himself to ask instead, "Wait—What did Rin tell you about him?"

Tilting my head to the side, I answer, "Well, he hasn't really told me anything about him..." Which is kind of odd, I think, "Except once, when he told me you and your father had gone to some Church event..."

Yukio's face became somber as I spoke, and he finally set the kettle back on the table. Sighing in what I assume to be resignation, he pushes his glasses further up his nose with his index finger and catches my eye, steely determination coming off in waves.

"Shima, our father is dead."

* * *

 _He's got to be here somewhere_ , I think desperately as I continue running throughout the area, searching for a distinct mop of black hair. _I have to see him!_

Countless, nameless faces pass by, none having useful information, dozens of trees, none of them hiding him, dingy, decrepit shacks everywhere, none inhabiting the person I'm looking for... My legs are screaming at me to stop, to take a break, but I don't, not until I see him, not until I know he's okay.

A thick root, mangled and gnarled, catches my foot, and I tumble harshly to the ground below, sliding a few feet and staining my name-brand clothing, no doubt. I rush to my feet, but a sharp pain in my leg gains my attention. Apparently, the fall caused a tear in my jeans and a deep cut in my thigh. I wince as blood all but pours out of the wound. _Small cuts bleed the most_ , I think to myself reassuringly, _it will stop soon enough._ Ignoring my injury for the moment, I take off(3).

Almost ten minutes later, I come upon a familiar person, lying stretched out on a grassy hill and gazing up at the afternoon sky. I attempt to go to his side, but the pain in my leg reaches its peak, and the dizziness that had begun fogging my vision was becoming more prominent. Unable to articulate, I groan loudly, and right before everything turns into darkness, intense blue eyes meet mine, and I fall...

**-Flashback-**

"Shima, our father is dead."

Upon hearing this, my eyes widened, and my jaw dropped. What the fuck? "What do you-How-What-But he-" I asked urgently, and though I was unable to make a complete sentence, he answered.

"Well, that's not entirely correct."

Taken aback, I barked out, "What do you mean?"

"We, Rin and I, are not biologically related to Father." I continued to gape as he spoke. "He took us in after our biological parents died. It was a car crash," He quickly said before I could interrupt. "We were barely a year old at the time. Neither of us can remember them, and though Father offered to show us pictures many times, we never wanted to see them. You see, to us, Father was our real parent, and we were fine with that."

He stopped speaking, so I inquired, "And Father—What...?" _What happened to him? Why and how did he die?_ These were things I wanted to know but could not ask.

"We were ten, and we were playing a treasure hunting game inside the Church," He chuckles humorlessly. "We went into a room Father forbade us from entering, and Rin found a sword hidden away in a dresser. We started running around and playing with that instead, pretending to be pirates." His voice became even more solemn. "Father eventually found us and scolded us for disobeying him, something neither of us were used to. We both began crying, and he bent down, probably to pat our heads or something like that, when it happened."

He took a deep breath. "We don't know why or how, but Father lost his footing and fell right into the blade in Rin's hands." Startled, I almost fell backward and off of my knees. "He didn't die right away. He embraced both of us and told us it wasn't our fault and that he'd always love us, no matter what. Of course, Rin _does_ blame himself..." He trailed off sadly.

I wanted to ask if he blamed himself, too, but decided it wasn't the time. (And judging by the expression on his face, he probably did.)

His eyes came back into focus, and his gaze returned to me. "That was six years ago, today."

Upon hearing this, I realized that when Yukio said that Rin was visiting Father, he must have meant his grave. "Where is he, and how can I get there?" I demanded, feeling that I needed to see Rin as soon as possible.

Yukio smiled once more, and though it was plagued with hints of sadness, guilt, and remorse, it was almost as blindingly bright as his brother's have always been.

**-END FLASHBACK-**

"Ah, un, ugh..." Well, _that_ was one hell of a dream... Yawning and not even attempting to open my eyes just yet, I try to lay on my side. When stinging pains shoot up from my thigh, however, I halt my actions and begin to wonder what the fuck is going on. Come to think of it... my bed definitely isn't this hard, and my pillow's never this warm... And that's certainly not _my_ heartbeat echoing so loudly within my ears.

I immediately open my eyes, and a rather desirable face—if my lower regions are anything to go by—hovers above me. Wait—above me? I glance around and despite not knowing _where_ I am, I know that I am lying on a bench with a bandaged leg and my head in Rin Okumura's lap. _Wonderful._

"Uh, hi...?" I say, not really sure of the current situation.

"Hi," he replies dryly. "If you don't mind, I'd like to ask you a few questions..."

Gulping, though I don't know why, I mumble, "Like what?"

"Like, why are you here? What happened to your leg? Why were you running like an idiot?" He counts each of them out on his fingers as he lists them. Then, he looks to me expectantly.

Chuckling weakly, I answer, "Um.. I was looking for you, I tripped on a root, I wanted to get to you quickly... Ah, yeah..."

His eyebrow raises. "Why were you looking for me?"

What little blood I have left rushes to my face, and I turn away from his searching gaze. I shrug. Obviously not satisfied with my answer, he continues to stare. After only a few moments, I crack—I guess now I know how Konekomaru must feel, I muse—and mumble out, "...wanted to see you..."

I keep my eyes determinately away from him as he simply looks at me. "Thank you." At this, I glance to him and see a huge, grateful smile before quickly glancing away and blushing even more.

I shrug again. "It's no problem."

A few more minutes of silence later, he speaks again, "So... I guess you know... huh?" And he doesn't have to elaborate because I know what he's referring to.

I nod, but then say, "Yeah."

His hand moves to a position inches above my hair, and realizing his intention, I use mine to guide his hand to my hair, letting him know it was okay. He hesitantly runs his hand through it, and I close my eyes, reveling in the feeling of his nimble, calloused fingers.

He begins, "I didn't mean to lie to you, you know... It's just..."

"It's okay. I understand," I assure him. Not once since hearing of this did I think to myself 'Oh, he lied to me, nyah, nyah, I'mma stop being friends with him, nyah, nyah!' He had his reasons. I'm not going to be angry over something like that.

"...How much did he tell you?" Rin starts again.

"He told me about your real parents and how Father died," I explain.

"Oh."

"Hmm?" When he doesn't respond, I open my eyes and see him biting his lip. "What is it?"

"So...so.. Yukio didn't tell you... anything else?"

"...No..." I reply, becoming confused for the umpteenth time that day. "Should he have? Is there something else?"

After debating for a moment, he finally says, "...Yeah."

Patiently waiting for him to begin explaining, I close my eyes once more and focus on his fingers.

"Well, after Father died," His voice is shaky. "...The people of the village, this village, actually, were all very close to Father, and they were... upset with me over his death."

Startled, my eyes find his, and I demand, "What? Why?" Though I already have a hunch as to what it could be.

"They thought I... killed him... on purpose."

"What? But that's not fair! There's no reason—It's not like you knew—Agh!" I shout in frustration, angry that they would do such a thing to such a good, innocent child.

He smiles at me and continues, "They called me a murderer and wouldn't let me enter their shops or houses. I was... okay with that. It was tolerable. But then," At this, he scowls. "They dragged Yukio into it. The townsfolk' children would throw rocks at us and beat Yukio up when I wasn't around. Because of all of that, we rarely left the Church. The people there, at least, knew us, some had even witnessed what had happened, and they didn't blame us for Father's death. We stayed there until we turned fifteen and enrolled into True Cross Academy. We both got scholarships—Yukio helped me with that—and used the money Father left us to buy the house we live in now."

Feeling quite unnaturally furious and saddened as well, I tried to calm myself down, for Rin's sake, at least. He wasn't angry at the village, not angry enough to exact revenge, anyway—that was evident. I have no right to do anything in his place, I remind myself(4).

After composing myself, I say, "You're amazing." Because, honestly, he is. To go through something like that and still come out like, well, like he is, is definitely amazing. I'd even wager he feels sorry for them, the selfless idiot, and wants to make amends.

I'm astonished, and at the same time, I feel insignificant.

I mean, here I am, whining and complaining and pitying myself because my family won't fucking _talk_ to me, when Rin only has his twin left in the world and has had to deal with horrible treatment and a traumatic past, and he just sucks it up and lets it go. The only thing my family can accused of is maybe neglect or even emotional abuse. ( _Not really_ , I think to myself unhelpfully, _because they've always kept me well cared for, regardless if they ignored my feelings in the process_.)

"I don't think so..." He mumbles, and I roll my eyes.

"Yeah, you are," I say resolutely. He hesitates for a moment, and then, nods. "Good. Now, can I meet your father?"

The somber expression on his face is replaced by one of surprise and happiness. "Really?" I nod eagerly. "Okay, but can you even walk?"

That's a good question. I look to my injured leg and wiggle it a bit. Okay, okay, that fucking hurts. I turn back to Rin. "Ah..."

He's the one to roll his eyes this time. "Fine, I'll help you." He carefully lifts me up and to the side so that he can move, and then, he leans down, grabs my arm, putting it over his shoulder, and hoists me to my feet.

It takes a while, but we finally reach Father's grave, a marvelous, white marble cross as tall as Bon, at least, with Father's name engraved on it that sits magnificently in the middle of a clearing in the forest, near the hill I'd first spotted Rin earlier in the day. Beautiful white flowers that I don't know the name of lay in a bouquet on top of the grave.

Rin stops right in front of it and greets him, "Hey, dad, this is my new friend, Renzo Shima." The way he says this reminds me of a little kid speaking to his daddy, and I realize that that's exactly what it is. "He wanted to meet you."

Smiling warmly, I introduce myself, "Hello, sir, I'm Renzo Shima. It's nice to meet you."

We stayed there for a while longer chatting and telling Father all about pretty much everything. I explained to him about Bon and Konekomaru, and their quirks and how they'd come and visit him someday, too. I told him that his sons were growing up into fine men and that he needn't worry about them.

By the time we decided to leave, it was already dark in the sky. My leg didn't hurt so much anymore, so I was able to walk myself. Before we left, I told Rin to go on ahead and that I'd be there in a minute.

"Ah, Father... I don't really know if you'll approve of this... though, from what your sons tell me, I don't think you'll mind, but still..." I begin to ramble, embarrassed. "I... I want to date your son... It's not on a whim, and I'm not after 'only one thing' like most guys...I actually want to be with him, and I was hoping that I could have your permission." I become increasingly flushed as my speech goes on. "If.. if you don't approve, ah... give me some sort of sign, and I promise I won't pursue him!(5)"

When nothing happens, I ask timidly, "So.. you don't mind? If you don't mind, then give me a sign..." I wait a few more moments.

"I don't know why I thought this would work..." I mumble self-deprecatingly. I move to stand up when, suddenly, the wind blows harshly for a moment, and something hits my face and lands in my lap. "Wha-?" I pick up the object, and I become slack-jawed.

It was a Cherry Blossom... in October.

* * *


	10. Rin's Snippets: Detention is a Good Thing!

Rin Okumura is attracted to Renzo Shima— _That_ is the undeniable truth.

He may even venture to say that if certain _physical_ things were to happen between them—Well, he wouldn't mind.

In fact, he wouldn't mind it one bit—That is, if his frequent, embarrassingly vivid and erotic dreams were anything to go by. And they _should_ count because such a thing had never occurred before.

Sure, Rin had _noticed_ the feminine populace—Their bulging chests, tight clothing, heavily applied make-up, and curving, hour-glass figures. It was hard not to when they were so freely announcing puberty's goodies to everyone else, as if begging for some attention.

However, Rin's pants had never tightened, and blood hadn't flowed anywhere near them like the other boys his age. His breathing hadn't increased, and his heart hadn't beat any faster. His hands hadn't become sweaty, and he hadn't become light-headed. No, he'd merely glanced—once was enough—and moved on to something else.

And he could say the same things about guys, too, if he wanted to be thorough. He was never actually interested in anyone of either gender, to be honest. Therefore, Rin was a virgin, and wet dreams were foreign to him.

When he'd woken up to sticky sheets and messy boxers one night, panting like he'd just run a marathon, he hadn't known what to do. He couldn't tell his younger brother—What a conversation _that_ would have been—so he'd had to get up to wash his sheets himself. He couldn't wait until morning because as it was, Yukio woke _him_ for school, and after breakfast, they walked together.

He couldn't properly face his twin the next day, and despite the smirk on his younger brother's face saying he knew _exactly_ what Rin had been up to that night, he kept his mouth shut tight, and they walked to school in silence—one flustered, one amused.

That day, he immersed himself in conversation with his fellow classmates so as to not focus on the boy he'd, er... _been with_ in his fantasy whom just so happened to share most of his classes with him—He was sure that he wouldn't be able _stop_ looking and imagining and...

Anyway, then, said pink-haired teen gained the attention of their oh-so-strict teacher, which earned looks from the entire class, and Rin had been forced to gaze upon him. He hadn't been paying attention to the lesson—Something Rin had found rather... _hot_. (Who'd have thought _I'd_ be into 'bad boys', Rin quietly mused to himself, blushing all the while.)

Unsurprisingly, Shima got detention, but Rin hadn't heard clearly when it would be served. After his mind's little betrayal, which flashed a scene from his dream the night before for a moment, he fervently ignored the other boy and actually tuned into his teacher's lesson about bacteria.

He managed such a seemingly impossible task successfully for most of the day. However, after two classes in a row without the pink-haired boy, Rin found himself breaking down in his next to last class as he spotted the source of his pains in the courtyard outside. As a result, he was given a detention as well. It was to be served the next day.

That night, he'd had yet another dream, and he knew that the day ahead was going to be a long one.

He entertained himself the entire day, not even worried about his punishment because his sanity, surely, was much more important than one afternoon of lost free time. He hadn't known what to expect when he walked through the doorway leading to a classroom designated for detention after school—Maybe solidarity or annoyance or even a fight of some sort.

However, what he witnessed when he stepped foot into that room—Well, he hadn't seen it coming at all.

Renzo Shima, pink-haired, cocky, _sexy_ , charming, playboy Shima, was staring directing at _him_ , beaming or grinning stupidly, rather, and Rin could have died, right then and there, because _fuck_ , if his life hadn't felt complete at that moment.

When that smile toned down a bit—But didn't die out, he reminded himself, happily—Rin snapped out of it and remembered where he was and what he was doing.

After explaining himself, Rin took a seat next to Shima, sitting as close as possible without seeming too obvious. Shima looked to him immediately, but Rin stared determinedly at his work, and Shima shrugged and started his. Rin couldn't help the smile that lit up his face.

They left for home together as Rin couldn't bear to part from the boy, and he was curious about where Shima lived, anyway, so they walked slowly along. Rin babbled on and on about trivial things, but the other boy didn't seem to mind, so he didn't stop.

Finally arriving at Shima's house, Rin, still not willing to leave, just stood there, waiting. Shima began his goodbye, and Rin realized it was no use trying to stay any longer.

He replied lamely but then asked the question he'd been wondering and worrying about the most. The other teen quickly doused his worries, and he tried asking for something else—Shima's number.

He agreed, once again, and they exchanged numbers. After doing so, he said his goodbye and began to walk away. Shima, ever the observer, stopped him and asked a question Rin had been hoping he wouldn't.

Rin merely replied in the negative and continued his trek in the same direction, no doubt leaving the other boy confused when he, himself, was quite simply overjoyed.


	11. It's About Damn Time

Right. So I'm finally going to do it. There's no going back now. I tuck a stray lock of hair behind my ear, slowly lean forward, lick my lips, and...

...put the pen to paper. Eh? Imaginary audience in my head, why do you look so confused? You thought I was going to... NO! No! Ahh, I'm not listening. I'm not listening! ...Huh? Okay, fine, I'll explain. _Sheesh_. Alright, so this blooming romance between Rin and I began its development _all_ the way back in Chapter One: You and Me. Class hadn't yet started, you see, and I was discreetly ogling Rin (I mean, he's adorable! Just look at him!), and-

Eh? That's not what you meant? Fine, _fine._ I'll start from yesterday, alright? After talking to Rin's dad, I...

* * *

Still slightly awed, I only break out of my daze when I hear Rin calling my name from down the hill. Shaking my head slightly, I pocket the petal and take a moment to whisper a croaky, "Thank you... so much." I nod firmly and add, "...I'll definitely come see you soon." With that, I turn around and lightly jog down the hill to where the black-haired teen is waiting for me.

He looks at me curiously for a moment (probably wondering what _I'd_ had to say to his Father), but he doesn't push me for answers (something for which I am grateful; how could I even begin to explain?) As we make the surprisingly small trek through the cluster of trees that I'd run through (and consequently hurt myself in) in my search for Rin, he chatters on beside me, less subdued than he'd been when we'd spoken earlier. Though I do contribute to the conversation occasionally, my mind is, understandably, elsewhere.

That conversation with Yukio-the whole day, really-has been enlightening. I've been dicking around this whole time, reluctant to take that leap of faith, that final step to secure a romantic relationship with the male beside me, and I knew it, if only subconsciously. Despite how confident I may appear, I've got doubts about myself like any other person. I mean, how's a womanizer like me supposed to even _contribute_ to a guy like him? He's so... so blindingly pure! And Rin, he's... He's been through _so much_ , and I find myself wanting to wrap my arms around him and never let go. Maybe even hide him away from the world. I... I just can't wrap my mind around the fact that _anyone_ could be so... misguided, hateful, cruel... to _him_.

I only notice that we're going down a different path than the one I'd taken after a few minutes, and I belatedly realize why Rin chose this way. He's making sure that we steer clear of the town. Fighting myself to keep my calm if a bit neutral expression from morphing into a grim line, I find that I can't blame him.

A hand suddenly touches my face, and my head snaps up to look at its owner. Rin smirks a bit at having caught me off guard, but the concern in his expression is obvious. "You okay?" He asks, and I only nod numbly because all I can think about is how Rin's hand, calloused and warm, is still cradling my cheek. Rin'shandandmycheek. Rin'shandcheek. _Rin'shandisonmyface_. "...Okay." He accepts my answer and then takes his hand away a few moments later.

I'm almost positive my face is on fire. Annnnd that brings me back to my next topic to brood about: Confessing to Rin. As we begin walking again (we must have stopped whenever Rin... touched me. OHGODDON'TTHINKABOUTIT), I finally manage to make my mind up on the matter. So _what_ if Rin could find someone a kajillion and one times better than me? I've always been selfish bastard. What's stopping me now? I'm going to confess to him tomorrow. The if's and why's can come later.

And, of course, I'm going to do it in style~!

I barely manage to repress a snicker, but I valiantly hold in my amusement until Rin and I part ways at our usual crosswalk. My devious grin must have slipped through, though, because he seems a little wary as he bids me goodnight. Eh. He'll just have to wait until tomorrow like everyone else~! I actually do laugh a little in anticipation, and an old couple on their front porch give me the stink eye. Shrugging (after sticking my tongue out at them), I almost skip all the way home.

* * *

And that, dear hallucinations, is why I'm sitting here about to write a letter. Still confused? _People these days._ My brilliant plan, titled "Shima's Awesomesauce Confession of Love~!", involves me writing Rin a note to meet me at sometime tomorrow afternoon. I'm planning to stick it in his locker that morning. _Any_ way, when he shows up, I'll be standing there, looking sexy-fine, with John Mayer playing in the background and a PacMan plushie in my hands. Rin will be so shocked and appreciative, hell, _he'll_ probably confess to _me_.

Your open mouth suggests that you, too, are in awe of my brilliance, so I will take that as a confirmation of the credibility of my plan. Untoward, then, my henchmen. Away we go~! But before that...

I quickly write out said note (it's decorated with a duck motif, so it's friggen' adorable) and glance over it afterwards to check for mistakes.

_Rin,_

_Meet me at the park bench where we first met somewhere around 4:00pm today._

_I've got something important to tell you._

_Thanks,_

_Shima._

(I resist the urge to draw a heart here and instead draw a chibi version of myself winking and giving the 'Victory' sign.)

After squinting at it, I shrug. It looks fine to me. It's short but to the point, and I've never been one for formalities, anyway. Rolling my eyes at the thought of giving Rin a Love Letter anything like the ones my fans give to me ("I love Love LOVE YOU!" Yeah, no), I fold it neatly and place it in an envelope (white with a duck sticker on it) and write 'Rin' in big letters on the front of it. Smiling to myself, I carefully place the envelope in my pocket and head out to buy that PacMan plushie I'd seen in the game store near the Super Mart.

_[Meanwhile, Bon and Konekomaru, who had, unfortunately, been there in Shima's room the entire time and witnessed the whole thing, stare after their mentally challenged friend as he gallavants through the bedroom door, not even glancing at them once._

_Konekomaru, poor thing, decides to break the silence by murmuring, "Well, at least he's not depressed anymore..."_

_Bon merely snorts and crosses his arms before replying, "I can't say this is any better." At his friend's curious expression, he elaborates, "He's clearly insane. I mean, 'Imaginary Audience'? Just who does he think he was talking to?"_

_Not having anything to say to that (what_ could _he say, anyway?), Konekomaru smiles weakly and leaves it at that.]_

* * *

At school the next day, I quickly make my way to Rin's locker well before the bell signalling the beginning of homeroom rings, and I release a relieved sigh when I notice the lack of a certain black-haired individual (and the slight sting of disappointment I feel is quelled by the fact that I'll get my answer soon enough, anyway). Smiling giddily, I walk closer to the lockers lining the left side of the hall and search for... Aha! Number 214. Actually humming a little to myself (Today's the day! I'm not going to let a (very) possible rejection keep my spirits down!), I pull the envelope out of my pocket and push it

push it

push-

"Damn you! Go _in_!"

pull it back

straighten the wrinkles

rub it against the top of the locker

push it

push-

"What are you doing?"

hurriedly try to pull it back out

_it's stuck_

Turn around and attempt to act natural

"Uhh... H-hey, Rin! Buddy, whazzup?" I hastily inquire, ignoring both the need to face-palm at my eloquence (or lack thereof) and to turn tail and _run._

"Hi..." He looks at me curiously for a moment before his eyes land on the crumpled up envelope stuck halfway between the vent-like things in the door of his locker. His face flickers through a multitude of expressions (confusion, realization, hope?, another realization) before finally settling on more confusion. I only distantly notice as I'm frantically glancing back and forth between the note and Rin, trying to decide whether or not I can get rid of the note before he asks about it or if he'll believe that I meant to put it in the locker next to his. (i'm not ready for this yet. what was i thinking? _i'mnotreadyi'mnotready!)_

Before I can go through with either of those (really dumb) ideas, Rin's suddenly _in my personal bubble_ , and no, wait, he's _not_ leaning in to kiss-Ahhh! He's going for the note! My hands shoot out to grab his wrist before he can reach it without my consent, and (very possibly because of his surprise,) Rin ends up falling forward and on top of me. The end result is his _entire body **pinning**_ me to his locker. He gasps, I 'Eeep!', and no one attempts to move. I subconsciously hold my breath, myself, but _he_ doesn't. When his breath ghosts over my face, a shudder wracks my thin frame, and we both blush (because, of course, with him so close, he must have felt it, too.)

In my distracted state (you would be, too, if you had the guy you were _in love with_ practically cuddling with you in a deserted hallway), Rin manages to regain his bearings and stands back up, face still crimson. Ignoring him for the time being, I bring my hands to slap my cheeks lightly in order to break out of my daze. _Pull yourself together, man! A sex deviant should_ not _be so flustered over what was basically a full-body hug! Snap out it!_ I only do so when I hear a sharp intake of breath coming from my companion. I bring my gaze up to meet brilliant blue and take in the shock before dropping down to the cause of it.

The note. I immediately tense up and glance everywhere but at the teenager in front of me.

"Shima..." He attempts to make eye contact, but I refuse. A few moments later, he gives up with a sigh and asks, "What's this all about?" His words aren't very specific, but I know what he's not saying.

 _Why did you write me a note? Why couldn't you just ask me? Why did you try to hide it?_ And most importantly: _What do you have to tell me?_

Laughing nervously, I rub my sweaty hands on my khaki pants (stalling). "...I just-I wanted to-You-" Exhaling a frustrated sigh, I close my eyes tightly, face him fully, and manage to get out, "It's because I-"

**_Rrrrrriiiiiiiinnnnnnngggggg!_ **

Startled, we both practically jump out of our skins as the bell resounds loudly right next to us. Glaring at the metallic contraption in agitation, I curse under my breath and rub my poor, wounded ears. As students begin to pour in from both sides of the hallway and teachers open their doors to let them in, Rin grabs my elbow. Pulling me to his chest, he whispers into my ear (that's still ringing, mind you), "We'll talk about this at break, okay?" And without waiting for an answer, he drags me to homeroom with him.

The cat-calls and cheers from our fellow students are less than amusing at this point in time, and I do little more than pout dejectedly when Bon and Konekomaru (my so-called friends) ignore my calls for help as we pass by them. And of course, once again, I don't notice that Rin is now wearing a grin much like the one I'd been wearing for most of the morning.

* * *

Class goes by much too quickly for my tastes, and so, to avoid the conversation with He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named (Dude, he's, like, _worse_ than Voldemort 'cause, you know, I'm not _in love_ with the Dark Lord), a few minutes before Break, I ask to go to the bathroom and hurriedly snatch up the Hall Pass and leave out the door before any protests can be made. I feel a gaze burning holes in my back even after I close the bathroom door two halls away.

Feeling absolutely ridiculous but not wanting to go back all the same, I lean against the sink and twirl the pass around my finger. It's kind of funny that the one time I don't actually have to use the restroom is when I remember to take a pass with me. The corner of my lip quirks up, and I pass the time by imagining my friends' reactions to me escaping. Bon probably rolled his eyes or shook his head; I bet he wasn't even surprised. Konekomaru might have sighed and is sending apologetic looks to Rin even now for my behavior. Those guys are a trip. Seriously.

I determinedly do _not_ think about the consequences of this morning and just now. That becomes much easier when I hear movement from within the stall closest to the opposite wall. I make out clothing rustling and the distinct smacking of lips that leads to me to believe I've somehow happened upon something I shouldn't have. Before I can leave (not that I was planning to, actually; it's always hilarious catching other people in the act), a very disturbingly familiar girl stumbles out of the stall and some nondescript guy goes along with her. "Eyebrows?!"

Said girl, who'd been in the process of re-buttoning her shirt, swivels around to me, doing a very good imitation of a fish out of water (I'm sure I'm not doing much better). "Playboy?!" As we stand there, having some sort of staring contest, What's-His-Face zips up his fly, notices me, shrugs, and walks out of the room without saying a word.

Seeing this, I raise my eyebrow (ironically enough) and give her a very pointed look. She breaks eye contact with me and scowls fiercely. Smirking, I amble languidly toward her, simply stating, "My, how the mighty have fallen." She glares at the floor. I go on, unhindered. "You know, someone once told me that my 'hobby' of sleeping around made me, and I quote, 'the lowest of the low'." Pasting on a look of dawning realization when she finally glares at my face, I continue, "But hold on... Wasn't that person... you? Oh, but it couldn't be!"

"Shut up!" She practically growls at me, and I hold my hands up in surrender.

Laughing lightly, I say, "Hey now, don't get angry with me. _I'm_ not the one who just had sex, after all."

Face burning, she gets out through gritted teeth, "I. Didn't. Have. Sex."

"Oh, but what _did_ you do, then?"

"..."

"Right. Anyway, I hope for your sake that guy had protection. He didn't look all that reliable, you know. Seems kind of shady to me. I mean, he didn't even-"

A slap echoes around the room, and I bring my hand to a stinging, most likely reddened cheek.

Hand still raised, she spits out, "Don't take your 'love life' issues out on me, Playboy. _Nobody_ should have to deal with you on a _daily basis_ , much less _romantically_."

With that, she shoulders past me and exits the bathroom.

When the bell rings a moment later, I return to the classroom, but my eyes stay glued to the window for the remainder of my classes, despite the numerous attempts to garner my attention by friends and teachers alike.

This day really sucks.(1)

* * *

After school ends for the day, I'm one of the last to leave the classroom (thankfully, a cursory glance tells me Rin's no longer in the room; neither are my other two friends, come to think of it.) As I pack up my things, the same thoughts that I had been shoving in the back of my mind since the beginning (of basically _everything_ involving Rin and me) continue to run in circles in (what seems to be) a spot just behind my eyes. A headache is just what I needed, after all. I'm so lost in my thoughts that when a door opens right next to me and an arm shoots out and pulls me along with it, my only reaction is to blink dumbly and allow it to happen.

I am slightly relieved to find a pair of bright blue eyes on the other end of said arm because for all I know, he could have been a rapist or a serial killer. My reflexes really are lacking, I muse. Maybe I should take Bon up on that offer to join him in traini-Nah. That would be way too much work. A hand waving in front of my face breaks me out of my musing and causes me to jerk backwards. My head slams into the wall, and I groan as I rub the area with the most pain.

"Sorry..." I glance back up at the teen, eyes squinting because of the pain.

"It's fine. I've always been rather hard-headed."

From there, the silence becomes rather awkward, and I begin fidgeting, unwilling to dive into this subject without a lot of prompting. (And maybe not even then.)

Tired of my silence, I guess, Rin runs his hand through his hair and asks, rather bluntly, "Were you gonna confess to me?"

"EH?!" My face rapidly turning tomato red, I gape at the boy in front of me, mind coming to an abrupt halt after the words left his mouth.

"You heard me." I am only slightly appeased by the fact that he seems to be just as flustered as I am. "I don't know why _else_ you'd... you know...write a note asking to meet me somewhere."

"I-I don't-Uh..." _Stuttering is really attractive on you, Shima. No, really. Keep it up. It's a big turn-on._

"You don't _what?_ " After my prolonged silence, he takes a deep breath and blurts out nervously, "Well, I can't say for sure, and I'm really, really sorry if I'm making the wrong conclusions here, but... I think you _were_ planning on confessing to me. You were going to do it this afternoon, anyway, right? Before I caught you with the note? I don't know what made you change your mind or what happened when you left the classroom (Because, really, Shima, you were jittery when you left, but you came back looking like a zombie. Don't deny it.), but _I_ just want _you_ to know that _I've been in love with you_ , oh, I'd say... a few months now." I bring my honey-eyed gaze up to meet his blue one in utter bewilderment, and I'm reminded of the first time we connected like this... back at that park on a rainy day...

Wait a minute. "You're _in love_ with me?! And have been _for months_ even?!" The hell?!

Expression never wavering, he simply nods at me.

Okay, forget all of my doubts for a moment. In fact, fuck those doubts. The real issue here is... "Why didn't _you_ confess to _me_?" Throwing my hands up, I continue, "Do you know how much _time_ you could have saved the both of us?" And then, yet another thought occurs to me. "Damn! I didn't have to hold myself back! I could have just kissed you all those times, no problem!"

During my rant, Rin must have collapsed against a desk because when I stop and look to the sound of laughter (and its source), that's where I find him. Noticing my death glare willing the Earth to open up and swallow him or something for daring to _laugh_ at me (THIS IS SERIOUS BUSINESS!), he waves a hand at me apologetically, saying, "I'm... haha.. sorry. It's just... I wasn't expecting... _that_ reaction..." A huge grin lights up his face as he goes on to say, fondly, "Only _you_ would ask that. Honestly..."

Before he can dissolve into chuckles again, I roll my eyes, use my hand to lift his chin up, and smirk at his surprise as I crash our lips together. His are just as soft as I'd always imagined them to be, I muse to myself. I bite his lip eagerly, one of my hands moving from his chin to grip his soft, black locks and the other finding its way underneath his shirt. He gasps, and I slip my tongue through his parted lips. He tastes of mint, strangely enough, leaving me to wonder if he'd somehow known I wouldn't be able to control myself. The thought makes me giddy, even more so than I already am. The moment is heated and fantastic and wonderful and _so_ much better than any of my fantasies (and I have an awesome imagination, you know.)

Quite a few gasps and moans later, it occurs to me that Rin is a virgin (I'd probably just stolen his first kiss, actually), and maaaaaybe I ought to have his consent before I go any further. Breaking off the kiss abruptly, I pick myself up from where I'd pinned him against the desk (which is oddly reminiscent of this morning) sometime during our impromptu make-out session. I carelessly wipe the saliva that had trailed from our mouths on my sleeve and take in the sight of a decidedly adorable (ravished) Rin, flushed and panting slightly. "Well, that was amazing." I chirp, beaming down at him.

He nods slowly, most likely still dazed from tasting the awesomesauce that is myself. As I give him a few moments to come back down to Earth, if you know what I mean, I bounce on the balls of my feet, my mood having done a complete one-eighty from earlier. As he sits up, I can't stop myself from leaning in and giving him a quick peck on the lips again, especially when it makes Rin's face turn a few shades darker.

Chuckling (read:giggling) to myself, I pull him to his feet and toward the door, intending to take him to Bon's house. (Bon's mother had threatened to put me up for adoption if I didn't drop by today when she caught wind of my intention to confess.) I come to a halt right before the door when Rin stops walking. Turning halfway toward him, I ask, "You alright?" When he doesn't answer, and his brows furrow further, I go on, "Is it because I just stole your first kiss? I'll ask next time if that's what you..." I trail off when he shakes his emphatically. "Eh?"

Arm still in my firm grip, Rin flushes once more (Can he get anymore _cute_? I'm going to get a nosebleed if he keeps this up any longer.) and glances off to the side, looking distinctly uncomfortable. Eventually, he mumbles, "oudin'serme"

"Huh?" Never let it be said that I am illiterate, folks. Just listen to that extensive vocabulary. I even amaze myself. "What was that? I didn't hear you."

Even more disgruntled (which is even _more_ adorable; he looks like a puppy!), he repeats himself, but he's still so quiet that I have to strain to hear. "You didn't answer me."

Gears practically whirring in my head, I attempt to figure out what Rin's getting at. When I finally _do_ , I deadpan, "Are you serious? I kissed you. I ranted about kissing you."

Still avoiding my gaze, he replies, "You've kissed _a_ _lot_ of people... I just want to be sure."

Rolling my eyes (but also giddy because, dude, he's worried about _my reaction_ ; and to think, all of my angst earlier was for naught.), I confirm, " _Of course_ , I love you, you adorable knucklehead." Releasing his arm in favor of using both hands to pinch his cheeks, I go on, "How could I not? You're awesome. I'm awesome. It's was bound to happen." His blue eyes meet mine once again (Just how many times is this going to happen in one day? This isn't some shounen-ai manga!), and I smile slyly as I say, "Though, apparently, _some_ one has been checking me out for half a year now."

Pulling away from me and spluttering, Rin denies it. "What? No! I haven't-"

Waving my finger reprovingly at him, I tut. "Ah, ah, ah. There's no need to deny it." Putting my hand to my chin in a thinking pose, I continue, "Come to think of... I _did_ always feel like someone was staring at my ass whenever I was with you..."

"I-I-What? You-" He squeaks indignantly, and I can't help but to break into laughter. He huffs and shoves me so hard that I almost fall over. "Shut up."

"Hey!" I squawk. "Don't break your new boyfriend! Isn't that, like, one of those sacred 'Rules of Dating' or something?"

He snorts and walks ahead of me. "Yeah, well, I'm starting to wonder if it was worth it."

I quickly catch up with him (whilst still cradling my side; guy doesn't know his own strength!) and point out, "Aww, you know you don't mean that... Rinnie-pooh!"

He visibly starts at the nickname and then glances at me oddly. "'Rinnie-pooh'? Really?"

Shrugging, I reply, "Hey, it's either that or 'Puppy'."

Still eyeing me warily, he asks, "Why-"

"You don't want to know."

Rolling his eyes, he declares, "Then I'll just call you 'Pinky'."

Gasping in mock-horror, I hold my hand to my heart. "You cut me real deep just now, Rinnie-pooh. You cut me real deep."(2)

Rin (finally) laughs, and I beam in success. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"You ask that now?" I mean, we're nowhere near either of our houses. You'd think he'd catch on sooner. Before he can reply, I answer, "I'm taking you to meet my surrogate mom, Torako Suguro. When she heard what I was going to do today, she threatened me into stopping by."

Not looking the least bit concerned, the bastard, he simply asks, "Threatened?"

Nodding, I elaborate, "Yeah, she said she'd put me up for adoption. I don't know if she'd actually do it, but man, is she scary when she's angry." I shudder just thinking about it.

He smirks at my fear (Why do I like this guy, again?) before his face lights up with recognition. "'Suguro'? So she's-"

"Bon's mom? Yeah," I finish for him. "She's always been there for me, you know? I think you'll like her, and I _know_ she'll love you. I mean, you're so adorable!"

Blushing (I'm so glad I get to make him do that now!), he breezes over my comment with a, "That's great. I can't wait to meet her."

A few miscellaneous topics later, Rin throws me for a loop when he inquires, "So what did you have planned at the park?"

"Eh?" And then I remembered the confession I had so painstakingly thought out. "Oh, dude, you totally missed out. I was going to have "Love Song For No One" playing all romantically in the background while I stood there like those guys in movies do, you know, 'cept I'd have had this awesome Pacman plushie that I bought for you rather than stupid roses." Sighing at the lost opportunity, I go on, "You would have loved it."

Rin looks pleasantly surprised at the information. "...I still get the Pacman plushie, right?"

Laughing, I throw an arm around his shoulders and pull him to my side, rubbing our cheeks together as I say, "Of course the only thing you care about is the plushie. I should have known." Heaving a mock-sigh, I assure him, "Sure, sure. Take the plushie. You can cuddle with it while I cultivate mushrooms in the corner."

"I'm glad you're so understanding. I'll take you up on that offer," He retorts, and I tug a lock of black hair in retribution.

"Oww!"

"Oh, look, our first fight!" I point out happily. "Let's have make-up sex!"

The elbow to my gut was expected but still painful.

"Rin! Hey, wait up! Hoooonnnneeeeyyyy!"

* * *

And that, voices in my head, is the end of our story.

Well, actually, it's just that this is all I'm willing to share with you. My boyfriend would get upset, otherwise, you understand. And then Yukio and Bon would be on his side (because they've all become assholes, I tell you, always conspiring against me!) and they'd all be mad at me-It's just not worth it. For such a rough and tough guy, he can be really girly about stuff like this.

But that's just life, I guess.

* * *


End file.
